Well, after much deliberation, I have decided to keep my blog. I've just gotten used to the idea of blogging again, and I was just starting to enjoy myself. Writing is very therapeutic. Anyway, all my friends/boyfriends/coworkers names have already been changed, so they still get privacy. The only real name you guys know is mine. And so what if you know what I look like? It was just the one picture, right? I am still going to continue signing off as Peyton though, just for continuity's sake. So anyway, now onto the good stuff.
John and I have been talking again. Not as frequently as we were at the beginning of February, but we're getting there. Sometimes I start to overthink/overanalyze things with John (duh, you all know I do that), but I just have to keep reminding myself that he is not like other guys. He doesn't play games, and he's very honest. What you see is what you get. So I don't have to worry that he's lost interest just because I don't hear from him for a while. He is literally married to his work. And I don't mind that. At times it can be a little frustrating, just because it makes him harder to read. And I can't really judge his words/actions against other guys because, like I said, he's not like other guys! I know, all girls say that about a guy at some point in their life, because he's really good at leading them to believe that, but that really isn't the case with John. He's different. In a good way, I think. In a way that actually may be beneficial for me.
So we were texting last night till about 8am (ridiculous, I know) and I mentioned that I would still like him to come visit. He's on another job right now, in the Panhandle, and he's working from 7pm to 7am every day. I dunno how he does it. But he said he thinks he'll be done in about a week and he'll see what the schedule looks like. It also happens that I am going to NOLA next week to shoot my cousins senior portraits. So mayyyyyybe we can spend a day together or something. Although NOLA is not very close to Shreveport, which is where John lives. But anyway, so we talked till 8am, and then I finally went to sleep and had the most amazing dream about him. Well, about us. We were together, like together together, and we were traveling. Like just...traveling the world! And we were so happy! I remember thinking (in the dream) that everyone around us must be able to see how happy and in love we are. And I remember nuzzling his neck, and kissing him. Lots of kissing. ((Sigh)) Have you ever had a dream like that, where you were just soooo happy, that you still feel kind of elated when you wake up, but then also kind of sad, because it's over, and none of it was real? I know it was just a dream, and it's no coincidence that I had a dream about John after practically falling asleep talking to him, but I still hope I can have that in real life someday. Hopefully sooner than later.