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Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Conflicted

A while back I reminded all of you about Lane, a guy I met and briefly dated in Chicago. We got back in touch a little over a year ago, and have stayed in touch ever since, even though we haven't actually seen each other. We talk all the time! I mean actually talk, not text. We FaceTime at least once a week, and text almost every day. We've become pretty good friends I'd say, but I'm still in this same predicament. Am I being stupid? Is it pointless to continue this? I would be willing to commit to a relationship with him at this point IF we saw each other and things were as great in person as they are now, and IF he was willing to give it a shot, of course. I haven't told any of this to him though because I'm not sure if he feels the same way, and I don't wanna scare him off. He did talk about coming to NOLA for New Year's Eve this year, and he said a couple of his friends were down for the trip, but that was like 2 or 3 weeks ago, and he hasn't brought it up again since. ((Sigh)) I just feel like the more we talk, and the more we get to know each other, the more comfortable I get with him, and the more I depend on him, and the more I like him. And I don't want to develop strong feelings for him if there's no possibility of a relationship or anything. I'm no longer interested in just having flings with people. This is just getting so frustrating! I don't know what to do! Do I try to bring it up over the phone and sort of feel him out, or do I wait and see if he ends up coming down here for NYE? And if he does come, and there are fireworks, do I bring it up then, or wait and see what happens? And if he doesn't come, do I just keep on with this indefinite slightly more than friends friendship or what?? I wonder if he ever thinks about this kinda stuff. I doubt it. Ugh...

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