Home Is Where The HEART Is

Over the past couple months I have struggled with whether or not I should continue to blog. Mostly because my life is sort of stagnant right now, and I just don't have that much dish, and then partly because I'm so busy that my posts are few and far between, and I know my readership is dwindling. But every time something DOES happen, I WANNA blog about it. So for now, I'm just gonna say that my blog is sort of...on hold. I will post here and there, but unfortunately, that's all I can commit to at the moment.

In other news, I just got back from a 10 day trip to Houston. And now that I'm back in Chicago I have this really weird feeling that I'm not really home here anymore. It's like I feel confused inside. You know? Like that feeling you have when you first move to a new place, and in your head, you know it's "home", but it just doesn't feel like home necessarily. Well that's how I'm feeling about Chicago right now. I mean I've known for about a year now that this isn't where I want to stay. This move was something transitional, something I needed, and I'm definitely glad I did, but not something permanent. And I've toyed with idea of moving to New Orleans, or Austin after I graduate, but now I'm convinced that Houston is just...where I belong. I was just so happy there the last week and a half. I have a lot of good friends. Not just casual friends, or coworkers, or classmates. Real, true friends. And if there's anything I've learned from this experience of leaving everything behind and starting fresh, it's that true friends are hard to find, and they should be treasured, always. My reasons for leaving Houston don't really...apply to me anymore. Hopefully I will be able to find a real job before I move anywhere, so I won't have to bartend again, but everything with Brandon is in the past, my parents issues are (mostly) in the past, and I wanted to pursue photography and art, and I did! So I've decided that when I finish school, I'm going back to Houston. I'm going back home.

Is Anyone There??

So who's been to check out the new blogger on Cosmo.com?? I'm not sure I'm digging this new chick as much as K, but I'm gonna keep reading before I judge... Either way, it's totally fiction. No one is 24, fresh out of college, and has that good of a job these days. ((Sigh)) But hey, it's nice to fantasize.

Anyway...
Matt and I have plans to hook up again this weekend. So that should be fun. So far today has been one of the most boring days of my life. I actually don't have anything to do for the next 2 days. No family or friends coming in town, no work, no doctor/dentist appointments. I guess this will give me no excuses to not practice piano. I'm starting lessons back up next Tuesday.
Sophie and I had a nice relaxing day together yesterday. We went to the beach, lunch/cocktails, and then to the movies to see Brave. Which was great btw! I highly recommend it. And we rode our bikes everywhere, so my legs and ass are really feeling it today. Lol.
Last night when I got home, I was talking to my mom on the phone and I realized that I don't think I'm ever going to get married. And I'm not all that worried about it. And it worries me that I'm not worried about it. Lol, wtf?? It's just that I've been single for so long, and I'm not meeting anyone, and I don't really know how to meet anyone. And it's not for lack of trying! It's just...I gave the whole online dating thing a shot, and that was a bust, I'm not trying to pick up guys in bars, I usually look like crap when I go to the grocery store so...where does that leave me? I've pretty much just given up on looking. I mean if casual sex with Matt is all that's in the cards for me right now, I'll take it. At least it's drama free, right?
I'm in a place where I've accepted my life the way it is, and while I may never be completely satisfied, at least I'm happy. And who knows if I'll stay in Chicago forever. I might only be here for another year or two. If I move though, it's definitely gonna be New Orleans. That oughta be fun, right? Hahaha. We'll see...

Anyway, sorry the blog has been so bland lately, but my life isn't always exciting. I just hope you all are still reading!