Is This A Bad Idea?

Well...I went and did something I never thought I would do.
I joined an online dating website.
So far so good I guess. I mean I just joined Sunday night and I've gotten a lot of responses so far. But there sure a lot of "absolutely not interested"s to sort through. I guess I shouldn't complain though. I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes.

As far as everything else, I've been realllllllly busy with just...fucking everything. I'm moving in like 2 1/2 weeks and I've barely begun to pack. Not to mention I gotta get movers and everything else. UGH! I hate moving. It'll be worth it though. I just wish I could fast forward to May already! I've been really stressed, and not getting enough sleep too, which has made blogging hard. So bear with me over the next couple weeks if I don't write much. I'm not going to disappear again, don't worry!

UGH.

I literally spent most of today trying NOT to think about what happened with Bill last night, and then visibly cringing every time I did. Ugh... I mean that was like the most disappointing and awkward sexual experience of my entire life. I'm sure some day I'll be able to look back on it and laugh, but now I just keep thinking about how I was there, in that moment, thinking about how I didn't want to have sex with him! And I still don't know why I did! I just remember thinking that I had to, because I mentioned sex in a text message to him, and I didn't wanna come off as a tease. So I felt like, "I'm here and I have to go through with it." Ugh...I definitely was too drunk to have been making those kinds of decisions.  o need to lecture me either. Trust me, I've been punishing myself all day.
Lessons learned?

1) I DO NOT have to have sex with anyone if I don't want to! No matter what I said!
2) If I'm not really into him, don't sleep with him! It's not going to improve the situation!
3) Don't have sex with anyone new after a day of drinking

So there ya have it folks. Let's all try and learn something from my horrible experience.

2 Pump Chump

I got stuff to write about but I'm really tired, so I'm just gonna write about the important stuff for now...
Had Sunday Funday with Abbie and another girl from work, Kris, and my roommate (the cool one, not Dane).
Ended up at Bill's house afterwards. We finally hooked up. For like...5 seconds. I mean that. Literally. He put it in for 5 seconds, I didn't really feel ANYTHING cuz his penis is small, and then he GOT UP off the bed, and went rifling through his closet. He said he needed to find his condoms and put them back in his night stand, because he moved them all when his family came to visit. All I could think about was Brazil and how great the sex was with him, and how I really wasn't ready to be having sex with Bill, but it was too late to turn back. Plus, I'm not even really sure if I should count that. I mean it was like the dictionary definition of a 2-pump chump. WTF?! I did NOT know those really existed. And then of course he was really...irritable afterwards cuz he was embarrassed. And at first, I was just really confused, like, "did the condom break? is something the matter? what's going on? why is he leaving????" cuz it had been like 30 seconds!! And then I thought, "Well surely he must be coming back so we can finish" but when he came back, he was wearing his shorts? WT?F!!
WOW.
I definitely won't be talking to Bill again. ((Sigh)) I hate to say it but...I miss Brazil. For the first time since our last conversation.