Still Can't Believe It

When we got to the hotel, it was 11:30. We were both exhausted. We went straight up to our room, laid in bed, and cried. Together. Oliver was just as much Brandon's dog as mine. He loved him too. And Oliver loved Brandon. It was really hard to sleep that night. Every time I closed my eyes, it just kept replaying in my head. I kept picturing him lying there, so soft...so limp. When he'd been so alive just moments before. I can't believe it. I still can't believe it.

We slept almost the entire day Friday. But at 4 o'clock my parents called and told me the family was going to dinner at 6. My mom was really worried about both of us. But we got up, showered, and put on our happy faces and went to dinner. I was expecting it to be harder. Harder to act happy. But everyone was so...cheerful, and happy to see us. There were hugs all around. And it was a nice distraction. Brandon met Sophie, Brent, and my grandparents. They all loved him, of course. I gave Brent and Sophie all their Christmas presents. We ate pizza and drank beer. It was actually fun. Of course, thoughts of Oliver still crept into my head. But I had Brandon, and everyone else to distract me from those thoughts. So I was able to stay moderately happy, considering the circumstances.

After dinner, some of us headed over to Pat O'Brien's to meet Sophie and Brent's friends. My parents came too. Evan and one of our mutual high school friends, Alex and her boyfriend were there. They had just driven in Friday afternoon. So me, Brandon, my parents, Evan, Alex, and Alex's boyfriend, Mike, all got a table together. Sophie and Brent couldn't really stay in one place. After drinks, me, Brandon, Evan, Alex and Mike walked out to Bourbon St.

Brandon ended up getting a little too drunk. I was too depressed to even drink. I started to get upset, and I just wanted to go back to the hotel. ((sigh))

Brandon passed out as soon as we got there. I cried myself to sleep.