Monday, August 19, 2013
I often wonder when it happened. When my life changed so much. If I could pinpoint the exact moment, or even just the day, when I would wake up and my life would be so different. All my friends married with kids, my life on a completely new and strange path, the unknown always so inevitable, and yet also somehow inviting. I used to hate change. I was afraid of it. I liked the comfort of knowing what to expect. But now I hate to think that everything will be the same for me. Sometimes I feel like I've been living in a time capsule. A place where I stay the same, and everything and everyone around me keeps moving forward, growing older, changing. But I don't feel any different on the inside really. It's like I blinked and everything around me just shifted. I used to get really melancholy about it; take it personally, as if I'd been left behind. Now though...it's like I'm on the side of the highway. I see the cars passing me by, and I acknowledge them, but I don't really give them that much thought. Because I was never actually in any of those cars. I haven't really been left behind. I chose to get off the ride. Didn't I? Did I choose this? I guess I don't really know. I guess it doesn't really matter, because no matter how I got here, here I am.