Sorry it's been so long, but I did warn you guys that it might be difficult to post with finals and moving. But school is out as of Wednesday, and I've been in my new place for two weeks now! It's great. Cluttered, but great. I'm still working on unpacking, but I know everything will be ready in time for my house-warming/birthday party in a couple of weeks. I'm gonna start blogging regularly again, now that the insanity is over. So I'm just gonna try to briefly catch you guys up on everything that's been going on...
The move went smoothly, all things considered. Katie helped me paint the new place (a light, minty turquoise, which I love!) before I actually moved in. I have been trying to unpack a few boxes each day, but I feel like I just have so many projects to do! Shelves/curtains/pictures to hang. I've turned into quite the self-taught handyman. Lol. Sorta...
Anyway, Bethany and Carrie are both coming to visit for my birthday weekend!! I'm so excited. Taryn was supposed to come too, but apparently she has been taking a lot of trips lately so she couldn't afford to come. But Carrie and Bethany and I are definitely going to have a blast. I'm also going to be hosting a housewarming/birthday party while they're here. So that should be fun, plus it's a good goal for me to have as far as getting my place in tip-top shape.
Now onto the next topic: online dating. So far, it has been horrible. For one, it literally feels like a chore having to go through all these messages and filtering out everyone who so obviously doesn't meet my aforementioned requirements. Why bother messaging me if you live halfway across the country, when it clearly states in my profile that I don't want a long distance relationship!? Ugh... I've been on ONE whopping date. And that guy turned out to be a stalker. Literally. He will not stop texting me. I tried to let him down easy... After our first date, I realized that I was not attracted to him and we had no chemistry, but I was nice to him, because he was a nice guy. So I just sort of slowly decreased our interactions. Basically I took longer to respond to his texts until eventually I just didn't respond at all. Well this date we went on took place in mid-April. The last time I responded to one of his texts was on April 21, when I told him that I was too busy with finals and moving to go out with him. I figured he would get the hint eventually if I just stopped texting him, but clearly, he hasn't gotten it yet. I got another text message from him about 20 minutes ago (4am!!) asking me if I'm awake! WTF DUDE?! SERIOUSLY!? He has sent me now 10 messages over the last 2 weeks, all of which I have ignored and he still won't leave me alone. Thank god I've moved and he know longer knows where I live. (I allowed him to drive me home from our date.) Anyways, so I'm feeling very discouraged and frustrated with the online dating thing. I've decided it's definitely not for me, but I have like a month and a half left of my subscription, so I'm stuck with it for now. ((Sigh))
Anyway, when I got home a little bit ago, I was unpacking a small box full of old birthday cards and such, and I was reading through them when I found one from Brandon. It was a Valentine's Day card. He wrote, "I know at times it may seem like I don't care very much about things, but I just want you to know how special you are to me in my heart. Lots of love and smiles, Brandon."
And there was one of those little recorded voice things in it, and he said my nickname, just a silly pet name he'd given me, and then it started playing the song My Girl. It was really weird seeing that because I've finally developed enough distance and detachment that I'm not automatically filled with regret at the thought of Brandon. It wasn't a feeling of loss,it was just...emptiness. Not loneliness, but melancholy I guess. I don't know, I just feel...unfulfilled. Hungry. I mean, I want love so badly, but I just can't seem to find it. And there doesn't really seem to be anything I can do to help myself. ((Sigh))
Well, I should go to sleep. It's 4:24am and I'm meeting Sophie and Brent for brunch at 12:30. Tomorrow is my first official day of summer. No school and no work. And I plan to thoroughly enjoy it.