Chicago: 4, Peyton: 0

Omg...so much has happened recently that every time I'm like, "Man I really need to catch up on my blog!" the thought of everything I need to write just seems too daunting. Lol.
My birthday was a blast. I met a cute guy, got a phone number, and made out with a stranger. Lol. Needless to say, I had quite a bit to drink, but hey! No regrets. The guy I met (Kyle) continued to text me up until the beginning of this month, but it's been a couple of weeks since I've heard from him so... I dunno. I'm moving in 2 weeks!! Maybe I'll text him when I get there.

After my bday, things went kind of downhill...
I came home from NOLA and got the stomach flu, wasn't able to work, or even get out of bed for a week. It was seriously, TERRIBLE. Everything was coming out my butt. Lol. TMI?
Then I had to go to Mexico to shoot a wedding. That was a blast, and luckily I was feeling much better by then. Jenna was there, and we had so much fun hanging out by the pool, and going to the beach, etc.
But then I got back from that trip, and threw my back out! I was carrying a 50lb backpack full of camera equipment for a week, so that's probably why. But I was out of work for yet another week! For a grand total of 4 weeks off work. During which time, I only made $250. From the wedding. (They paid the majority of my fee ahead of time). So I'm basically still trying to get caught up on all my bills, and I haven't really been able to do all the fun things I was hoping to get to do in my last month living in Chicago.

Although we had our staff trip in Green Bay last week, and I did go to the Renaissance Faire with Brent and Taylor, and my friend Becky who lives in Wisconsin, on Sunday - both of which were super fun! But then my car was towed Monday morning. Another $200 down the drain.

I literally feel like Chicago is rejecting me. It's telling me to getthefuckout. And I'm more than happy to oblige. I'm so over this city. I just don't want to be here anymore. And I'm soooooo soooo excited about moving to New Orleans, and starting my career, and living in the South again. OMG THE HOT GUYS...((drool)). Lol. I seriously can't wait to get out of here.

Sophie left for a year in Guatemala on the first of the month (she got a cool job), and since then, Chicago hasn't been the same. I mean it's the same, and yet, almost as if the ground beneath me has shifted, or everything is sort of slanted? It's hard to explain. It just doesn't feel right. Part of that is because I really miss Sophie, part of it is because I'm ready to move on, and part of it is because my life has been so up and down rocky the last few weeks. I just feel very unsettled. Even my apartment doesn't seem like a place of refuge anymore. My landlord has been showing it to people, looking for a new tenant, so I keep having to get up and leave in the middle of the day; plus there have been workers painting and doing repairs to the building like every morning for the last 3 weeks! And I work at night, so I would like to be able to sleep past 8am, but NOOOOOO!! I must be woken promptly at 8am with loud banging, Tejano music, and men hanging from scaffolding right outside my bedroom window. Ugh. Literally, that happened. And I was asleep. In my underwear. Imagine my surprise. ((Sigh))

Well, enough bitching. I'm sorry this post has been so cut and dry, but now that I'm caught up, hopefully I will feel better about blogging in the future. Move date is the 27th, though, so bear with me if I disappear for a bit around then.

Summer's End

Ahhh the last couple weeks have been exhausting...
Austin was great. I had such an amazing time with Izzie and Jenna...not to mention, Izzie's daughter referred to me as "Mermaid" the whole time I was there. Lol. That was my name, according to her. I really miss Texas, and my friends... Sometimes I wonder what would have happened/where I would be now if I had never come to Chicago. But Izzie very perceptively pointed out that even though she was selfishly sad that I left, she' glad I moved because I really needed to get out of Houston. She reminded me how unhappy I was, which I sometimes sort of forget or overlook when I'm feeling restless, lonely, or homesick. But she told me she'd never seen me so sad, and hopeless. Then she showed me this video on her phone of the last time I visited, and my hair was up in a ponytail and it was just...omg. I had forgotten how the stress and the depression had affected my hair. It was falling out like crazy! It was horrible. It's fine now, and my hair is back to it's normal full self (thank God!), but that was just kind of a reality check.
So even when I get homesick, at least I know I made the right decision coming here. I know I won't stay here forever, but it's ok for now. :)
Yesterday, Sophie and Brent and I went to the Renaissance Faire! It was such a blast... I had on my steel-boned corset, chemise and underskirt, which I haven't worn since Sophie and Brent's wedding. It sort of rained on and off all day, but it was better than being hot! Also, the three of us got to get in a ring, dressed in real armor, and fence to the death!! Lol. They tied balloons to the tops of our helms and you had to pop your opponents balloon to "kill them". It was first to 5 and I was in the lead with 3 strikes, Brent with 1 and Sophie with 0 (lol), but then I started to tire, because I could hardly breathe in my corset, and it was so hot under all that armor, and Brent caught up with me. Then I killed him again, but he kept catching up! Sophie got 2 points by default when Brent and I killed each other simultaneously. Hahaha. We played about 12 rounds, so it was very taxing! In the end, Brent beat me by 1 point. But I blame the corset!! If I hadn't been panting, unable to catch my breath and tripping over my skirts the way I was, I'm sure I would have beat him. In fact, I think if it weren't for the corsets, I would have done quite well living in the Renaissance times. Lol. But omg you should have seen my hair when they took the helm off. Bahaha...
Anyway, it was sooo much fun, and just what I needed right before school starts.
Yup, in 2 days! I can't believe summer is over already. :( Where does the time go??

This morning at 5:45am, Jasper woke me up to go to the bathroom. Which is very unusual, cuz he usually sleeps as long as I sleep, so I knew he must have had to really go. Well it was diarrhea, and it persisted. He woke me twice more after that, and the second time, there was blood in his stool! Of course, I freaked out and rushed him to the vet. Poor baby has a bacterial infection in his GI tract. So we got him some meds, and I have to boil chicken and rice for him to eat all week. And once again, I got next to no sleep. We left for the Ren Faire at 9:30 Sunday morning, and I'd only gotten 3.5 hours of sleep, so I was already exhausted, and then Jaspy got sick... ((sigh)) I don't think he got much sleep last night either. We both just woke up from a much needed nap.
Jasper is so cute at the vet. He gets sooo nervous around the doctors that he jumps in my lap, or curls up behind my legs. He literally buried his head inside my purse, which was in my lap, while we were in the exam room. The vet commented on how attached he is to me. I love him so much! What would we do without our dogs, guys am I right??

One more thing before I go... On Friday, Brazil sent me a facebook friend request. Would anyone like to give me an insightful guess as to why he would do this? I mean clearly I deleted him, and it's not like we're friends in real life. I haven't even seen him once, let alone spoken to him! What's his end game?? And I feel like if I deny his request, then I will come off as not being over it, or bitter. Ugh... So he's just sitting there for now, unconfirmed. Hmmm... Please, please someone tell me what this means!!

Well, once again, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging regularly, but until my life starts to get exciting again, you'll just have to bear with me. :/

Houston So Far

The last 2 days have been so great! I got into Houston Tuesday night, and Dad and I just hung around the house really. I was pretty tired from all the running around and packing I'd been doing. But on Wednesday, Dad woke up early and went out to get kolaches! One of my favorite and most missed food items that you can only get in the south. SOOOO good! Then we went to the zoo, cuz I've been dying to see their new chimpanzee exhibit. It was super hot of course, but we had a good time. After that, we had a late lunch and headed home.
Mom picked me up around 3:30 and we headed up to my aunt Suzanne's. I hung out with my cousins, and Lexi and I made a fresh blueberry cobbler. It was delicious! We went to bed pretty early that night cuz my mom had to go to work early in the morning. But just when I was starting to fall asleep, Gavin called. I wasn't that surprised to hear from him, being in Houston and all, but usually he just texts, and he didn't even seem interested in seeing me last time I was in town!
As it turned out, he didn't even know I was in Houston! It was just a total coincidence that he called. Then he scolded me for not telling him I was coming. Lol. To which I replied that he definitely gave me the good old brush off last time I was in town, and he said that was because he was afraid if he saw me, he'd cheat on his girlfriend. Hehe. Silly boy... But we chatted for a bit, he said some more dirty and inappropriate things, and I passed out with a guilty smile on my face.

Yesterday, bright and early, Mom and I headed back into the city. She dropped me off at Jenna's, so I could spend the day with her, but we both just went back to sleep for an hour. I went with Jenna to her doctor's appointment at 9:30. Apparently when you're 7 1/2 months pregnant you have to go to the doctor every other week. Ugh... But Jenna and I always have fun no matter what we're doing, so we just talked and goofed off the whole time. After that, we headed to the kolache factory for a quick breakfast (can't get enough kolaches!!) and then we got our nails done. I haven't had a manicure since before her wedding! When we got home, Justin took us out for an authentic Tex Mex dinner, which was really nice of him. Jenna confessed to me that she's worried about Justin not being fully on board for the baby. I guess he's pretty nervous. Hopefully when the baby is born, he'll be more excited, and less anxious. I really like Justin, but sometimes I just can't help but feel that he isn't good enough for Jenna. ((Sigh)) I hope I'm not right.

Anyway, after dinner, I met up with an old friend from high school, Prudence. We rarely see each other anymore, but when we do get to hang out, it's like no time has passed. We're a lot alike: super goofy, same sense of humor, and up for anything, anytime. We went to my old bar, and took wayyy too many (free!) shots. Lol. But I got to see Aaron and Tanya, Mr. P, and Brandon, of course. So over it. Thank god... But Prudence and I had a blast! And I crashed at her and her boyfriend's place last night. Today I am super hungover and wondering how I'm going to make it out again tonight with Dahmer. Lol. I'm staying with him and Taryn tonight. She's actually on her way to get me right now. Prudence and I went and saw Harry Potter again. Well, again for me, first time for her. And I got a free movie ticket! Long story...
But it's off to Taryn's now, and then to the ranch tomorrow morning. I can't wait! Stay tuned...

Thought It Over

Thanks for the comments, guys! I definitely thought over everything about Matty, and Anonymous (who are you??) is right. I don't want to make the same mistake I made with Brandon. I'm just going to stay away from the people I work with. Romantically, anyway. Better safe than sorry, and I definitely do need that job too much to risk it for romance. So yea. He's too young anyway. I don't wanna just date around. I'm getting old. I need to start dating people I can actually possibly see myself being with like...forever. That sounds so final, and serious, but...I don't wanna be alone in 5 years. ((Sigh)) So I'm just going to take the high road, and be friends with Matty, nothing more.
Anyway, only 2 weeks till Jenna's wedding! And I'm actually really looking forward to going home, even though it's only for 3 days. I just have so much to do before then! I need to get a haircut, a mani/pedi, a tan, and a wax. Ugh... It's not going to be cheap either. It has been kind of nice not having to worry about hairy legs for the last 3 months. Lol. It's definitely still too cold here for shorts. We actually got more snow a few days ago.
On Saturday, I finally got to hang out with Sophie. We met up and did some bargain shopping. She had heard about this apartment sale, so we went to check that out, and I got a cashmere scarf for 50 cents! Lol. Then we went into this hair salon so I could check out their prices, since I'm in the market for a new hairdresser. We also went to Border's, cuz the one by her house is closing, and everything is like 60% off, and we went to a couple resale shops. I didn't get any clothes, but Sophie got a pair of brand new looking shoes! After that we had lunch/dinner and went our separate ways.
Work with the boys was fun, but I already told you about that. So my weekend was pretty great, over all! Now I just gotta make it through this week without spending any money, so I can save for my weekend in Houston. Haha, wish me luck!

I'm Considering Stripping

No really, but I feel so out of my league right now. Why did I think I could do this? I'm drowning.

I have no money. No money for rent. No money for groceries. No money for bills.

I'm supposed to start the new job next week, but I can't attend training, because I have class, and they only gave me 2 shifts. One of which I also can't work, because I have class. I mean I gave these people my schedule, WTF!?

Jenna's starting to really bother me. She hasn't once called me since I've moved, but she keeps texting me asking if I've bought my bridesmaid dress. Which obviously, I haven't because I have NO MONEY! Now I think I'm going to have to pull out of the wedding altogether. I sure as hell can't afford 2 plane tickets for a wedding and a bachelorette party.

And Dane cashed my security deposit check without telling me. He said he wasn't going to cash it, and that it was just going to go towards my last month's rent. But he did, and now I'm unexpectedly out another $500. And he still hasn't even cashed my January rent check, which is now going to bounce. Not to mention, I have to pay February rent in like 4 days.

My parents can't help me, because my Mom doesn't have money, and my Dad apparently did something stupid, that he won't tell anyone about, and had to take out a loan from the bank. And he's usually pretty well off. The only money I have coming to me is my $150 deposit from my last apartment, and my tax return, if it ever gets here.

I just don't know what to do! I have no one.

Why did I think I could do this??

What Gives

Wednesday night, while Cecilia and I were at the rodeo, Dave called. And of course I missed his call cuz I didn't hear my phone ringing. So with the ball being in my court, I called him back Thursday night. We chatted for about 40 minutes, he expressed his interest in getting together, and I invited him to hang out with Jenna and I on Sunday. When we got off the phone, I immediately called Jenna cuz she wanted all the details. Then while I was on the phone with her, he called me back!

"Hey, hold on. Dave's calling me again. I'll call you right back!" I said to Jenna.

"Ok."

"Hello?"

"Hey Peyton. It's Dave."

"I know." I laughed.

"Ok well just making sure you remembered. It's been so long since we've talked!"

"Haha, yea I remember. What's up?"

"Well, I was just thinking...would you like to get lunch tomorrow? I mean, do you get to leave for lunch?" He asked.

"Umm...you do know I work all the way on the north side of town, right?"

He hesitated. "Uhhh no, I didn't know that... Well, that's ok, I'm not really doin' anything."

"Ok, well...I don't usually leave for lunch, but I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem. Let me just double check with my boss tomorrow morning and get back to you though, cuz I wouldn't want you to drive all the way out there and have to eat by yourself!"

"Sounds good!"

So it was agreed. First date with Dave.
The next morning, I asked my boss as soon as he came in, and he said that was fine. I ended up being late to lunch though, because we had a meeting that went a little long. So when I finally got to the restaurant, Dave was already seated at a table. In his jeans, tennis shoes and checkered button up shirt. Hehe. Such a country boy...

Lunch went well. There wasn't really any awkwardness. We just talked and ate. He is very smart. He went to Penn State, and got his master's degree in nutrition. And he knows TONS of random medical facts. But I think it's kinda cool. I like a guy who's educated! But as far as the chemistry, I'm still not sure. I mean I don't want to force anything, or rush anything. And I just don't want to decide anything yet. I wanna really get to know him first. Which is exactly what I told Jenna when she asked me how it went. I mean I like him. He's smart, and nice, and he seems to have a goofy side, although I haven't been able to see it yet. I can tell from his Facebook. Lol.

So on Sunday, Jenna, Dave and I all met at the zoo. It was a little too overcast to be outdoors, but all the animals were out and about, so it was actually a great day for the zoo! And it's been almost too long since I've been. I brought my camera, of course, and took tons of photos. Dave seemed a little quiet, perhaps introspective? I dunno, I mean Jenna tells me he claims to be shy, but I don't see that. I mean he doesn't have a problem talking to people, he just...doesn't say much.
And of course Jenna and I are cracking jokes and acting fools, making the bears talk, and pointing out how small the lions' balls are. Hahaha. They really were quite small, considering he was a lion. And later I told Jenna that I was concerned that perhaps I'm too...wild for Dave. I don't mean that in a crazy or sexual way. I just mean...I'm a very outgoing, spontaneous, silly, out there girl! And he seems so calm and reserved. But then Jenna pointed out that his best friend is JAMES. Lol. I met James the same night I met Dave and he is without a doubt, certifiably, off the reservation, crazy. So that's a good point.

As we were getting ready to leave the zoo, Dave suggested we go grab a bite to eat, but Jenna turned us down, cuz she'd already promised she would have dinner with her parents. So he asked if I was still interested, and I said sure. He picked a place nearby that he'd heard about. It was an Italian bistro type restaurant, with a wine list as long as the Bible. But it was reasonably priced, good food. And once again, we had a nice meal, with no awkward silences. Afterwards, he walked me out to my car.

"So, what do you think? Do you wanna continue to get together and hang out or...?"

"Yea." I said, "I mean I know I have a lot going on, working 2 jobs and all, so you'll just have to bear with me, but I have Sundays off!"

"Ok well I'll give you a call later on this week, and maybe we can set something up."

"Ok." I said.

"Well thanks for havin' dinner with me." He said, stepping in closer.

"Well thanks for dinner!" I said, as he hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"No problem. I'll talk to you soon."

And then I got in my car, and left!

The good thing about this er...relationship? is that I can go through the day without thinking about him, or wondering what he's doing, or Facebook stalking him. So there's no stress involved. Also I know that he's smart, and nice, and stable, and obviously into me, especially since he drove an hour just to take me to lunch. The bad thing? I'm not sure how I feel. I think usually at this point, when I really like a guy, I would be thinking about him constantly, wondering what he's doing and Facebook stalking him. But I mean...it's not like with Cali, where I almost dreaded going out with him, cuz the spark so clearly wasn't there. It's just...neither. I don't know. But I'm not about to turn a great guy loose just cuz I can't figure out what the hell is going on in my own head. I guess I'm just not ready for anything yet. So I'm just gonna continue to hang out with him, and hopefully I can draw him out of his shell a little bit. We'll see.

But here's an interesting, unrelated tidbit. There's this other guy, we'll call Boston. He works at the bar with me, as a door guy. He has a real job actually, a really good job. He just works at the bar for fun, and to meet people, cuz he moved here from (guess where!?) Boston, kinda recently.
So he's been working with me for a while, and I've always thought he was cool and funny, and that's it. BUT...I've known for some time now that he has a bit of a crush on me. And up until like...4 days ago, I never considered him an option. He's too short, and I'm just not really attracted to him. I mean he's definitely attractive, just not my type. But he's so funny! And goofy, and uninhibited! I mean, he sings and dances around the bar after hours acting like an ass, just to make people laugh. And it's not like he's doing it for attention. He doesn't do it in front of crowds. Lol. He actually hates being put on the spot, but he's hilarious! And I just love that about him. And I've found myself thinking about him randomly, and I dunno...it's almost starting to weird me out. Saturday night after work, I texted him "What are you doing?" because he left early, and I thought that was kinda weird.
Then he texted me back, "Waiting for you to come over to my house." Lol. And I totally knew he was kidding.
So I wrote, "HA!"
And then five minutes later, I wrote him again, "So...where do you live?" as a joke, but maybe that joke had a little truth in it??
Anyways, he didn't write back, I'm guessing he went to sleep. But the next day, when I was getting ready for the zoo, he texted me, "Where you being serious??"
And I just laughed to myself and didn't write back.
Then 2 hours later, another text from him that just said, "?"
And so I finally wrote, "I guess you'll never know!"
And he never responded.
But we had this moment on Saturday night, where he and I were goofing around and I got up in his face, really close, as a joke, but the sexual tension caught me off guard so much that I had to step back, like, WHOA. It was reallllllly weird. I mean our noses were practically touching, ya know? That close.
And after that I practically ran away from him, because all these things were running through my head, it was like I had to physically shake myself free of his influence.

Anyways, I know that's a lot of stuff to pile on about Boston, but it all just sorta crept up on me.
And this is the thing, with Boston, I'm pretty sure I would make out with him, just to see how it feels, but I'm not so sure I would date him. But with Dave, it's just the opposite. I don't feel impulsive like that with him, but I do wanna continue to see him.

So...what gives???

Insider Info

My boss is out of the office today so I can listen to my iPod! Haha. So I'm rockin' Rude Boy by Rihanna at the moment. I'm sure my boss wouldn't care if I listened to my iPod, but I don't, just in case he sneaks up on me while I'm jammin' out. Lol.
Anyway, Jenna talked to Dave again yesterday, and she gave him my number, finally. So perhaps I'll be hearing from him soon. We'll see...
Tonight, Cecilia and I are going to see Dierks Bentley at the rodeo! I'm so excited! We're going again next week to see Rascal Flatts. I always have so much fun with Cecilia so I'm glad we're going to finally get to spend some time together.
So yesterday, I heard from 2 people (Ben and Taryn) in 2 totally separate conversations that Jayme is apparently telling everyone that Todd is obsessed with her, and smothering her, and she's so annoyed with him, etc... Ugh. How fucking typical. I mean, he gives his affections to someone who clearly doesn't deserve them, and then she just...throws them away! What I wouldn't do to be in her position... ((Sigh)) Whatever.
To Anonymous who commented on my last post, I didn't think your comment was mean at all. And I appreciate your perspective, because I hadn't thought about it that way, and I guess you're right. I kind of knew that in a way, because I know how crazy it sounds to say he chose her over me, it's just... I dunno. I'm still not ready to talk to him yet. Even if he and Jayme are already over.
I just hope that Jayme is honest with him, so that he doesn't continue to waste his time on her. Then maybe I could get my friend back.

Here's a little story I've gotta tell
'Bout this boy I know so well
Back in the day was cool and all
Fell in love, I fell in love
Thought he was the one for me
Other boys I could not see
And look what happened to our love
I'm like how could it be?

It should have been me and you
It could have been you and me
Boy you broke my heart and now I'm standing there
It should have been me and you
It could have been you and me
Now all I got are these photographs

All I've got, all I've got
All I've got are these photographs
All I've got, all I've got
Is nothing without you, you, you
Got nothing without you, you, you
Got nothing without you

Now baby it's killing me
I'm saying it's killing me
The fact that you ain't around
Baby I'm falling down
I need me a remedy
Been looking for remedies
I need you to be around
Baby I'm hurting now
I know you're a better man
When I was your girl
This land is a better land
When you're in my world
Today will be better babe
If it were like yesterday
So happy and lovely hey, hey, hey

All I've got, all I've got
All I've got are these photographs
All I've got, all I've got
Is nothing without you, you, you
Got nothing without you, you, you
Got nothing without you

All I've got are these photographs
I remember when I used to make you laugh
I don't wanna be stuck in the past
But you're all that I have that I had
And I don't wanna lose what we built this far
This is me and you, you're my superstar
I'd give anything, baby here's my heart
My heart, my heart…

Anybody else ever felt this way??



Quote Of The Day:

"Snail fiddling is not an occupation I'd be proud of. You dirty fucker."

Enter, Dave

A couple weeks ago, when Todd and I went out to dinner with my friends, he came over afterwards, and we looked through all my photos of his season. He picked out several that he wanted me to put on a CD for him, so that he could have prints made and hang them in his new place in Dallas. Well, since his birthday is next week, I went ahead and had the prints made for him. Then all the shit with Jayme went down, but I had already paid for the prints. And I still wanted to give them to him. So Saturday during the day, I went and picked them up and then I had them all framed. There were about 16 photos, and most of them were 8x10 or 8x12 so it came out to around $200 with the frames. ((Sigh)) But...the way I see it, Todd has done so much for me, and there's not really a whole lot I could give him that he couldn't get somewhere else. So I wanted to give him that. And I know how much it means to him.
So I headed over to my parents house afterwards and told them to give the pictures to Todd. They were heading out to his party, which I had been planning to go to, but decided against it. I told Todd I thought it was best if I just...took myself out of the picture for a while, because it's not like my feelings are something I can just switch on and off. And thinking about him and Jayme together just hurts.
So instead, I went and hung out with Jenna and her boyfriend. It was his birthday party, and Jenna really wanted me to go. Plus, she said she wanted me to meet this guy. I warned her that I wasn't interested in dating anyone, and I'm trying to get over my feelings for Todd, and I'm just...really not in the right place to be meeting guys.

"FINE! Just come, and meet him. No pressure. You don't have to marry the guy or anything!" She said.

I sighed, and reluctantly agreed. We met at one of our old hangouts from back in the day. My ex-fiance's brother still works there. He hates me. Awkward...

But Jenna and I had a really good time. I'm so glad she's moving back! She actually going to be staying with me next weekend. But we goofed off, and talked, and I didn't get drunk or anything. I'm trying to lay off the booze for a while after Thursday... So I just had one glass of apple cider, and that was it. And I met Dave. He lives next door to Jenna's parents, and coincidentally, he's friends with Jenna's boyfriend and all his friends too. Small world I guess.
Jenna kept making eyeballs, and dramatic gestures to the table behind us, to point him out to me. She was desperately waiting for an opportunity to introduce us. But Dave beat her to it when he came over and sat down next to me. It kind of surprised me actually, cuz he just sat down and started talking! He's a little bit older (early 30's. And I mean older as in, compared to guys I usually date), very attractive, calm, and nice. He has his own house, went to college, and he has a good job. He's actually a chiropractor and he's looking into starting his own practice. And he has a really warm smile. There's something about him just kind of puts a person at ease, ya know?
I didn't bother flirting with him, or putting my best face forward or any of that. I just talked to him, like a normal person. And I was totally myself. When Jenna and I went off on a Step Brothers quoting rant, I didn't hold back. Lol. So he pretty much saw me for me. And at the end of the night, when he didn't ask for my number, I didn't care! I mean, I kind of expected him to, but I wasn't bothered when he didn't. I had a good time with my cousin, and that's all that mattered.
But just as I was getting into bed that night, Jenna called. She wanted to tell me that Dave was mad at himself for not getting my number, but he was under the impression that I was going back to the hotel with everyone, so he thought he would have another opportunity. So Jenna told him she was going to be staying with me next weekend, and she asked him if he wanted her to arrange for us to all get together again, and he said yes. Lol. So now, Jenna and I are in the process of planning some kind of...group hang? I dunno, but we wanna do something fun, relaxing and you know, no pressure. Jenna suggested roller skating. And I'm down with that, I haven't gone roller skating in so long! Anybody else have any suggestions?

I wanna try a new approach with this guy. I mean, I don't even know if I like him, and I'm definitely not ready to jump into anything, but he's nice, and I definitely wanna see him again. And Jenna says he's the "settle down type of guy"; he's not into casual flings. Which is good, because honestly, I think I am a settle down type of girl. I just haven't found the right guy yet. And I'm going to take my time finding him. And I'm going to be myself and put myself first for once. You know, not put so much effort into making the guy happy in the relationship. And I'm not getting ahead of myself here, I'm not saying that DAVE is going to be my next boyfriend. I just decided that...when it happens, it happens, and I'm trying to learn from my mistakes.

I Got A Feelin'... That Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night

Sorry, it's been so long since I've blogged! I've been meaning and meaning to write, but I've been so busy, and I'm about a week behind on sleep now! Ugh...
So let's start from the beginning. Thanksgiving week was nice and relaxing. I had to leave work early on Tuesday for my doctor's appointment. I got my blood work done, so they could try to find out what's going on with my hair, and nothing turned up. :( So I have to go see a dermatologist. But hey, at least I'm healthy! I mean, other than the obvious.
Wednesday was my last day of the work week, and Sheila and I went out and got pretty crazy that night! Cory and I were supposed to hang out, and he had texted me earlier that day, but when I was ready to go, he didn't answer the phone! So I just figured, oh well. And Sheila and I had tons of fun, just the two of us, anyway. I haven't been that drunk in a long time. Lol. But don't worry, we took cabs, so we were safe. I crashed pretty hard that night after a much needed carefree night of partying. A little too hard though, because I did not wanna get out of bed the next morning! I was an hour late to Thanksgiving lunch/dinner at the grandparents, and everyone had already eaten. My parents were in Florida, and Sophie was spending the holiday with Brent's parents, so it was just me. But Jenna and Paul were there, and I scarfed down a plate of food before everyone started packing it all up. We actually had a pretty good time, the 3 of us. We sat at the table in the kitchen, talking and goofing off, while the rest of the family was in the living room being boring. Lol. My grandfather is a bit crotchety in his old age, and he's very particular, and likes to give his grandsons a hard time. He's also going deaf, so he shouts a lot. Lol. So Paul was just sitting in his chair reading a GQ, and Grandpa kept harassing him. Lol. Yelling at him to get his lazy ass up and help clean up. Jenna and I could hardly stifle our laughs.
So I had fun, catching up with them. Jenna had to leave that night though, because her boyfriend had a death in the family that week. So unfortunately, she and I didn't get to spend any more time together after Thanksgiving dinner.
I had been planning on going out again Thursday night, but I was just so tired, I ended up staying in, cuddling with Jasper on the couch, and going to bed early. Cory called to tell me he was sorry about the night before, but he'd passed out on his friends couch, and woke up at 4am fully clothed. And of course, I was too tired to do anything, so we ended up never getting to see each other! I was pretty disappointed I guess, but having too much fun to really notice.
Friday night I had to work at the bar; that kinda sucked. I didn't even leave my apartment during the day, because I was afraid of Black Friday traffic. I live pretty close to the mall, so it gets really insane over there. I had a really horrible dream about Brandon that night too. I dreamt that it was my birthday, and he was trying to give me something; he had bought it when we were still together. But I told him it was too much, and I didn't think it was appropriate for me to accept his gift. And he kinda just shrugged, said ok, and then walked off. And we were in the parking lot of the mall or something, so I turned and started to walk the other way, and I just started crying. The my mom came and picked me up, and as we were leaving the parking lot, I saw Brandon and his new slore standing on the curb, kissing. I woke up sobbing. Needless to say, I wasn't in the greatest mood. But I had to run errands and pack my things for my trip with the girls to go watch Todd's football game! My first NFL game ever!! So that definitely cheered me up. Our plane was slotted to leave at 7am Sunday morning! Work was kinda slow, but I didn't have to work behind the same bar as Brandon, which was nice. ANNNND...I met someone!
I was working the waitress well, and I noticed one of my favorite waitresses, Liza, talking to this guy. He was tall, with olive skin and dark hair, and he had kind of an exotic look to him. Like he might be Hawaiian or half Filipino. So I asked her if he was a friend of hers.
"No, he's just sitting at one of my tables.", she said, "Why?"
"Because he's hot!" I said.
She laughed. "You wanna know what he said about you??"
"WHAT!" I could hardly contain myself. Surely, this had to be a joke.
"He said, 'That girl looks mean, and a little scary, but I like it!'"
I busted out laughing. "Find out how old he is, but don't tell him I asked."
So she came back, and reported that he's 31.
Perfect! I thought. No more immature guys who need to get their lives together!
I quickly whipped up 4 of my best shots.
"Bring these to him and his friends, one is for you, and tell him they're from me." I said to Liza.
"One's for me? Thanks!" She beamed, and bustled off to his table.
I sorta got busy for a while after that, and before I knew it, he was standing in front of my well!
"Hey! Thanks for the shots, they were really good!" He said.
"You're welcome." I said, "I'm Peyton."
I shook his hand, blushing slightly. I've never dated someone that much older than me before. And the thought of it was kind of intimidating. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about it! Lol. I mean, it's only 6 years, but the most I've ever done is 4.
"I'm [Cali]." He said. (That's what I'm calling him, cuz I later learned, he's from San Diego.)
"So, my friends and I are actually about to take off... Do you think I could call you sometime?" He asked.
"Sure! Um...one second." I ran to the other end of the bar to grab my purse. I whipped out one of my photography business cards and handed it to him. Much quicker than writing down my name and number.
"Thanks!" He said, "I'll see ya later."
"Bye!" I said.
My night got considerably better after that. But wait till you guys read about our trip!

Holiday Season Is Coming

I know it's been a few days since I've written. I was in Austin for the weekend, and I've just been insanely busy trying to prepare for the holidays!

The end of last week was a little hard, but I made it through, and everything is fine.

TB has still been calling/texting regularly. And honestly...I just don't know what opinions to form on this situation. I mean I told him, when I first met him, that I'm not looking for any kind of relationship; just fun, and trying to get my life back on track, picking up the pieces, etc. And he seemed to totally get it. I just never expected him to stick around! And yes, obviously, I've been texting him back, because it's been nice just to have somebody to talk to... someone who obviously really wants to talk to me, and get to know me. And it's kind of been a while since I've had that. But now he's talking about making another trip out here! And that makes me really nervous, because I don't want him to expect anything, sexual or otherwise. And I told him that too, but he still wants to come!! So, I guess there's not really anything I can do or say to discourage him, aside from stopping all communication. But I don't want to do that. I like him, he's fun and interesting.

Anyways, Cory just got in town tonight. And we have plans to hang out this week. Possibly even tomorrow! I wonder how that's gonna be... Eh, he's funny and cool, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Tomorrow I have to leave work early to go to the doctor. I have to get blood work done. I'm really nervous, I hate needles! But I've noticed that over the past couple of years, I've lost like 30% of the density of my hair! And it's really making me nervous. Hence, the blood work.

But afterwords, I'm gonna meet Emma for dinner, and then get a mani/pedi. So that will be fun.

Austin was nice. I didn't do any partying, just hung out with Izzie and the baby, did a little shopping, and saw New Moon. I loved it! I mean, as a movie. I thought this adaptation was much better than Twilight. As far as the books go, that's a whole different story, but can I just say that Taylor Lautner is totally a hot piece of ass!? ((sigh)) If only he was older...

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is just around the corner! My parents and Sophie won't be here, but Jenna and Izzie are coming into town! So I'll be at the grandparents' house on Thursday with Jenna, and then a group of us, including Cory, are going out Thursday night! I can't wait!

And then this weekend, me and the girls leave for our trip!!! I can't wait!!

Ok, well it's just about midnight now, so time for bed.

Attention Please!

Ok, well! So many things to address...
After reading all your comments, bad and good, my first conclusion was, "Ok, I'm just gonna stop blogging. I'm sick of feeling like I need to justify my words, and my actions to these people. They don't know me, and they have no right to judge me". And that's the truth!
But, on the other hand, this wouldn't be the first time I've resorted to quitting blogger because of a few rude comments. And I'm really not the type of person to do something like that. And I enjoy blogging! So now, let me just make something clear. When I respond to comments, whether in the form of another comment, or in a post, I write exactly what I would say, if we were having this conversation in person... i.e., "fuck you!"
If that girl (I'm assuming it's a girl, because I really don't think I have any male readers) had told me to my face that I needed to act like an adult, and don't screw this up, etc... I would have straight up said "fuck you" to her face. But then I remembered, that I, unlike that girl, am not a timid person, and I'm not afraid to stand up for myself, and if I've got something to say to somebody, I say it to their face. Unlike the anonymous commenters who have nothing nice to say. So I don't feel my actions were out of line at all. If someone came up to you, and bashed you, and told you you were immature, and wrong in the decisions you made, decisions you felt pretty good about, how would you feel? What would you say to that person? I would hope that you would stand up for yourself. Unfortunately, none of you actually know me, and I don't actually know any of you, so we can't have a face to face conversation.
And as for the comment about me being "too boy crazy" and just moving right on to the next guy, that is not the case at all. I'm not moving right on to the next guy. I'm single! I'm having fun! What would you have me do?? Hole up in my apartment like a shrew?? Not go anywhere, or do anything?? I'm taking it day by day. Catching the curveballs that are thrown my way; sometimes I throw them back, and sometimes I hold onto them for a while. But I'm not trying to make TB my new boyfriend. And yes, I admit it! I'm boy crazy! I'm a straight, young woman, with a healthy sexual appetite! And if I wasn't boy crazy, would half of you even still be reading this blog?? Cuz I think it would probably be pretty boring. So, think what you like, but I know that there is nothing wrong with the decision I made to sleep with TB. I feel good about that decision, and I don't regret it at all. And actually, I have made a new friend! He's still been texting me every day. And yesterday, he even mentioned flying back to Houston again soon, because he had so much fun when he was here!
And as for all my supportive readers, I'm sorry if I don't give you guys props enough for your encouraging comments. I do sometimes mention you in the beginning of my blogs. Sometimes it's just an acknowledgement, but I'll try to pay more attention to you in the blog. Because I do really appreciate you guys! It's nice to know that there are people out there who aren't judging me, or talking shit! I mean, everyone needs a little encouragement from time to time. Everyone likes to hear that they've done something right, once in a while, instead of something wrong. Because people are usually so much quicker to point out your mistakes, than your accomplishments. So here's to my positive feedbackers! You are the ones who keep me blogging! :) REALLY! Because when I start to have second thoughts about continuing to write, the first thing that pops into my mind is my loyal followers! Obviously, I'm doing something right, to keep you guys reading, and I don't want to disappoint you.
But anyways, that's my 2 cents on the comment issues. As for everything else, I'm really excited about my trip to Austin this weekend. Izzie and I have been talking back and forth constantly about our ideas for the agency, and what we're gonna do this weekend (go shopping and see New Moon, just to name a few!). It's gonna be a great little getaway. And then next week is Thanksgiving! Izzie will be here for that too, and she's invited me to spend the holiday with her family, since mine will all be in Florida. :(
I'm still not sure what I'm going to do for Thanksgiving though, because Jenna will be in town, so we may be having dinner at my aunts or grandparents' house. But if not, I'll spend Thanksgiving with Izzie. OH! And Cory's going to be in town as well. He got in touch with me just the other night, and we have plans to grab cocktails Wednesday and/or Thursday night. So that should be fun. Izzie is going to come with us, since her Mom will be able to watch the baby.
It's going to be a great week! I'm excited.
Oh, and tomorrow is Brandon's 27th birthday. I wonder if he'll grow up at all this year...

Changes In The Wind

The weirdest/funniest thing I've seen in a long time happened at work the other night. It was closing time, I'm entering tips into the computer, and there are these four British guys standing at the bar, waiting to close their tabs. They're all in good spirits, laughing and joking, yelling out British exclamations like, "Bloody hell!" and "Bollucks!" Lol.

Then, before I realized what he was doing, one of the guys unzips his fly, pulls out his package, and carefully places his testicles on the bar! It was pretty hilarious, and gross at the same time. But definitely the strangest thing I've seen in the bar to-date. The managers weren't too pleased about it, if you can imagine.

((Sigh)) But anyways, I've been really stressed out lately about bills. It's been slow at the bar, and I haven't been getting as many shifts as usual. Actually, nobody's been getting as many shifts as usual. They've been giving a lot of our closing weekday shifts to the managers, which, in turn, is screwing us over. I have no idea why. And I'm moving in 2 weeks, so I've got extra bills to pay this month, and I'm already behind. UGh... I dunno what I'm gonna do!!
And every time I get stressed out like this, (last time it was about my mom), it starts to bleed into my relationship with Brandon. And I get tense, and over analyze things, and I ask him tons of stupid questions, and I end up pushing him away. It hasn't gotten to that point yet, but I'm afraid it will. Lately, I just feel like we have too many rules! He's not a very touchy-feely person, so I'm not allowed to touch him so much. And I just really like to touch him! His skin is so soft, and his muscles are so hard, and I just love running my hands all over his chest...ahhhh... But every time I have the urge to reach out to him, caress him, squeeze him, play with him, I have to resist, because I know he gets annoyed by it. And ever since I've read The Five Love Languages, I've been hyper-aware of those things. Because he doesn't respond to physical touch the way I do. ((Sigh)) I gave him that book to read in the middle of last month, and he's only just started to really read it. And I feel like we're never gonna get anywhere communication-wise, until he finishes it! He hates reading. He says it always makes him fall asleep. Oh bother.

More bad news, Bethany is quitting our bar. I'm so sad! But she feels like she's been screwed by the man, and she's not making enough money, and they don't appreciate her. I can understand where she's coming from I guess, but I think she takes a lot of things too personally. But either way, she's already found herself another job and she's putting in her 2 weeks on Monday. I'm just afraid that she's gonna start working at this new bar, and make all these new friends and hang out with them all the time, like we do at our bar, and then there goes my best friend! She promised me that wouldn't happen, and she reminded me that we hang out outside of work all the time, and we'll just have to make more of an effort to hang out once she's gone. But it's really gonna suck. Work just won't be the same without her, ya know? She's the funnest (yes, I consider that a word) bartender to work with!

She suggested that I come with her, but I declined. I'm not trying to stay in this industry, I'm trying to get out! I really need to find myself an actual job, I just...don't know how. I sent my resume to my aunt, who sent it to her friend in the pharmaceutical industry, so she could critique it. Apparently the woman wrote all over it, so now my aunt is sending it back to me snail mail. I just hope it gets here soon. I'd like to have a new job by Christmas!

Ok, enough about how my life is currently sucking. Sophie and Brent just got back from their Europe excursion. They're looking for apartments in Chicago, and are planning on moving early next month. So, Chicago, here I come!! I'm thinking I'll pay them a visit in October or November. That way, they're settled in and everything. But with all the holidays coming up, who knows. I might not make it to Chicago till January.

Jenna's in town for the night, so I'm meeting her and a friend for dinner around 7. I never see her anymore, and I miss her! About 6 months ago, she moved in with her boyfriend. In another city! And she rarely makes it down to Houston anymore. So tonight should be fun. Except that I have to go straight to work after that. Oh well. I'll have a couple cocktails and then hopefully I'll be in a good mood before I get to work. ((Sigh))

Group Hang

Well this past Friday we went out for Melissa's birthday. And we went to one of the newer bars on the Washington Strip. I had only been there once, and I remembered it being kind of a hole in the wall, and not very busy. But this time, it was packed! Bethany came too, and it ended up just being me, Melissa, Tim, Bethany and Evan. But we had so much fun! And I even met a cute bartender, and I gave him my phone number.
So on Sunday, before the whole Rusty thing, The Bartender texted me! We chatted a little bit, but I was at work, so we couldn't talk for long.
Then today, Jenna and I had plans to hang out at a local icehouse when she got off work. So I texted The Bartender and asked him to join us, before I hopped in the shower.
I left my phone sitting on the bathroom counter, and I heard him text a response while I was washing my hair. I smiled to myself as I hurried through the rest of my shower. I immediately checked my messages when I got out.
Except it wasn't from The Bartender.
It was Rusty.
"U hate me now?"
Ugh... I didn't respond. About 5 minutes later, The Bartender wrote back saying he'd meet us there.
So when Jenna got off work, we headed over to the icehouse. I brought Oliver with me, and Evan met up with us too. We played the touch screen trivia game, and had a few beers before The Bartender showed up.
It was hard for me to really decide what I thought of him. I mean, all of us bartenders act differently when we're not at work. Jenna didn't like him. She says he thinks he's hot shit. Lol. But to be honest, there weren't really any sparks between us. I mean, he's a nice guy and all but just...not that interesting.
Oh well, at least I hung out with a guy. A guy that wasn't Rusty.
Speaking of Rusty, he sent me another text when I got home.
"Just heard your myspace says you're done? I didn't even do anything wrong."
Fuckin' classic. I put that as my myspace status last night.
Peyton is DONE.
Mood: used.
I doubt he heard that either. He probably just saw it. And yea, maybe he didn't do anything wrong, but he sure as hell didn't do anything right!! I didn't respond to that one either.

The Tank Is Almost on 'E'

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'm on the first flight to New Orleans. It's my grandparents' 50th Wedding Anniversary and the entire immediate family is going to NOLA for the weekend for a mini family reunion. Then Sunday morning, bright and early, I'm on the first flight back to Houston because we're having our summer staff outing. I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but Tuaca is hosting the party; we've got a double-decker boat on the lake, with a slide, caterers, and free alcohol all day! It's gonna be so much fun!! Everyone at work is really pumped about it.
Things in the boy department have been kinda slow. My guy from Austin, J, did text me again on Monday. He was at the airport and wanted my myspace info so we could still talk while he's in Germany, since obviously he won't be able to use his phone. I'm still being very cautious about everything though, and I'm not letting myself get my hopes up.
Rusty texted me this past Sunday as well, and wanted me to go see his show. Our conversation went something like this:
Rusty: Hey, what are you doing?
Me: I just got home from a movie. What's up?
Rusty: I'm playing a show tonight, you should come.
Me: Oh really? Where at?
Rusty: It's called _______, it's in Clear Lake.
Me: Yea I know where that is, but that's kind of a long drive...
Rusty: Where are you coming from, midtown?
Me: About 5 minutes from there
Rusty: That's only like 30 minutes
Me: True, but still a long drive
Rusty: But it'll be worth it
Me: Well, if you really wanna see me, you're just gonna have to call me one of these days ;)
Rusty: I will too

And that was that. I haven't heard from him since. I haven't heard from The Psycho either. Which is not only surprising, but a relief!

Oh! The Model is in town. And I'm doing a really good job of not thinking about him! In fact, I almost forgot to write about him! I saw him and Mitchell last Friday at my bar, of course. I gave them a round of shots and served their drinks. But they didn't even say goodbye to me, and I haven't seen or heard from them since then. And I'm very proud to say I'm not hurt, or upset, or really anything! Maybe I'm finally getting over The Model. I mean, I can't hope for too much, but that sure would be nice.

My Mom went to her doctor's appointment last week, and they found out that the lump in her breast is not a cyst. Cysts are often mistaken as cancer, so that would be the most obvious thing it could be. But since it's not that, it's either a fibroid, or cancer. And usually only old people get fibroids. ((sigh)) She has a mammogram next week, and possibly a biopsy. So I'm praying for her, and trying as hard as I can to be nice and supportive and all that. It's just that the relationship between my mother and I is complicated. I mean we get along for the most part, and of course I love my mom, but I can only stand her in small doses! It's like she is the only person who has the power to get under my skin in 5 minutes flat. And she thinks I've been stressed out lately, but really, I only get that way around her! We got into a fight last week about my dog. Obviously, she doesn't want me to get one. But I don't think I can stand the silence of this apartment for very much longer. And lucky me, because Oliver will be here next week!! NEXT WEEK!!! (Don't worry, I'll post lots of pix!)
Anyways, it's like Jenna said, parents always think they can tell you what to do, and that you have to listen, no matter how old you are. But I'm living alone now, and supporting myself, and I don't have to answer to anyone! What is so hard to understand about that?! This really is the last thing I should be thinking about right now. ((huff))
Moving on...
Alyssa and I sort of got into it the other day. On Monday, she came over to see my apartment, finally, and then I went with her to campus to take care of some school stuff. We hadn't hung out in a while, and I had talked to her about how I was feeling. And she agreed that she needed to be more present and make more of an effort in our friendship. Hence, hanging out on Monday. So anyways, we were having fun, talking and catching up, etc. Well, at some point, the conversation came to cheating boyfriends. And I was telling her about the different guys I've dated who have cheated on me. And of course, Daniel's name came up, in passing. Since, he did cheat on me! And Alyssa scoffs, "You and Daniel were only together for like a second! You weren't even like...boyfriend/girlfriend!"
"Yes we were!" I argued.
"Well, that's not what he said." She retorted.
I was about to say something back, but her phone rang, and she answered it. So instead, I was just sitting there thinking about how rude that was, and how pissed off I was.
I mean, who says that?! Even if it wasn't her brother we were talking about, you just don't say something like that to your friend! It's insensitive!
I decided to let it go, for the time being, but I found myself thinking about it again later, and I decided to text her.
"Do you really believe what Daniel said? I mean do you really believe we weren't together?"
She didn't respond, and I kind of forgot about it. That same night, I decided to drive to the North Side to stay with my Aunt and cousins for a couple days. I had 2 nights off, and I just wanted to get away. And I love hanging out with my cousins. They're so carefree and fun-loving. I went to work with my Aunt on Tuesday morning, and got a text back from Alyssa then.
"Peyton, don't be that girl."
"What girl? What are you talking about?"
"Don't sulk over Daniel. Don't be that girl who's all sad about it because it didn't work out." She said.
"I'm not sulking. Really. This isn't even about Daniel. I just feel like you're blowing the whole thing off like it's nothing. And it definitely was something. I mean I was with him 24/7, I practically lived at his apt! And he really, really hurt me. So it may seem like nothing to you, but it was definitely something to me."
"Well you just have to understand that I don't wanna hear about my brother and his relationships! I'm tired of the girls he dates affecting the relationship I have with him."
"I know that. And I don't think I've tried to talk to you about him. Not when we were dating, not when we broke up, or even now, really."
"Ok."
"It just kind of sucks that I feel like I can't say anything to you."
"Well, it's not just you Peyton. Or any of the more recent girls. This has been going on since he started dating! All his girlfriends feel the need to tell me about their problems! And I just don't want anything to do with it."
"Well I don't wanna talk to you, or anyone about Daniel. It's over. And I have nothing to say about it."
My Aunt noticed me texting, and told me to get to work, so before Alyssa could respond, I said, "I'm at work now. I can't text anymore."
She never wrote back.
I'm just really...hurt and kind of annoyed that she makes all of this stuff out to be about me and Daniel, when it's not! It's about me and her!
Alyssa and I haven't spoken since then. I mean, I stayed at my Aunt's for 2 days, and went straight to work when I came back. So I haven't had a lot of time to see or talk to anyone, but...this is not resolved, by any means. And I'm tired of having these disagreements with her. I just want it to be done with! I just want her to see things from my perspective, and know when she's hurting my feelings. There's no way she could comprehend the depth of hurt I was feeling when Daniel and I broke up. Because I didn't tell her. I didn't talk to her about it at all, because I knew she wouldn't want me to. and I do understand! He's her brother. She loves him. But that doesn't give her the right to assume that it meant nothing.
I wish she could just look at this from a nonbiased p.o.v. and realize that no matter who it is that breaks my heart, I just want my friends to be there to catch me when I fall. Not judge me. Not say "I told you so". Not belittle me, or make light of the situation. Just empathize.
Is that too much to ask?

I have a date on Monday with a guy (JD) I met on that dating website. We still haven't met in person, and it's been a month since I canceled my membership, but I've been so busy with moving and everything, that we're only just now getting to meet. He's tall, and really cute, and he has a motorcycle (hot!!), but again, not getting my hopes up. He friended me on myspace and the impression I got of him there, is that he's a really big flirt. And I'm not sure how well that's gonna go over. But who knows! At least he's actually taking me out on a real date! Maybe he'll be the man of my dreams and we'll fall madly in love while staring into each other's eyes over plates of pasta and glasses of wine and then we'll ride off into the sunset, on his motorcycle, and live happily ever after.
LMAO.

Moving In And Moving On...NOT.

So I am officially living in my new apartment! It's sooo nice! My own space, all to myself, with no one to consult about anything!! Everything is still in boxes right now though, because my entire weekend has consisted of moving and working. And today I slept till 3 o'clock cuz I was so exhausted. ((sigh))
Bethany is gonna help me decorate and paint my bedroom. She's reallllly good at interior design! We start painting tomorrow. I'm so excited!
I had to work tonight, even though I don't normally work Sundays. It was horrible. But John is back from his trip. You guys remember John right?? The guy with all the sexual tension?? And just so you know, that hasn't gone away! Anyways, he was on some trip for a couple months for school; a geographical survey or something. But tonight, he worked the door and I closed the bar, so it was just the 2 of us at closing time. And we were sitting and talking while I was counting tips. And he was telling me about what he wants to do when he finishes school, and I found myself getting lost in his words, and thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. Would his kiss be gentle or firm? What his hands would feel like in my hair, and how my heart would race... Then I snapped out of it, and he was in the middle of telling me something about insurgents in Iraq. He was in the marines. ((sigh)) I wonder if anything will ever come of me and John.
Anyways, these fanciful thoughts of mine, are unfortunately few and far between. And I say that because they are certainly a nice destraction from the constant ache of yearning for Daniel. Now that I'm living practically across the street from him, it's gotten worse. I keep dreading, and hoping that I'll run into him.
Speaking of which, Jenna has been hanging out with him, almost on a regular basis. And that really bothers me, because on top of that, she never calls me anymore! And I've been so depressed lately, I just wish I knew I could depend on the people that I used to count among my good friends. It's strange how people's true colors start to show when you really need them. The only people who have really been there for me are Melissa, Bethany and Izzie. Always Izzie. She is the most loyal friend I've ever had. I'm not too happy with Alyssa either. As soon as Russ got back from his mission trip, she stopped calling me. ((sigh))
Melissa and Tim broke up last week, so we've been hanging out a lot...commiserating mostly. But it's nice to just have someone to talk to who really understands. She actually gets what I'm going through, and she empathizes.
It's kind of weird, because she points out things about me in a way that is so...black and white; she puts them in a new light that I wouldn't ever think of.
For example, the other day while we were at dinner she said she couldn't believe how bad Daniel broke me. So bad that I have to drug myself to numb the pain. She was referring to my more frequent smoking of course. But....((sigh)) she's right. And it makes me sad to think about it. I don't understand how I let him get so deep inside of me. I rarely even let people under my skin, let alone into my heart.
Anyways, it's late and I'm tired so I'm gonna try to get some sleep.

Out From Under

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I've been in a very dark place...
And I'm almost embarrassed to say it was mostly because I missed Daniel. I'm not gonna go into detail about it, but we broke up over the stupidest, pettiest misunderstanding, and I couldn't stop beating myself up about it. But Melissa gave me some excellent advice on how to handle the situation, and now we're back together! I never realized how much work it is playing hard to get. He would e-mail me, and I wasn't allowed to respond! I mean there were so many things I wanted to tell him, but Melissa told me not to write him. I had to give him some time to miss me. And it worked!
He invited me to his birthday dinner, and I told him I'd try to make it. Of course I had to get an outfit and everything, because I was definitely gonna be there! And dinner was a little awkward at first... Alyssa and her boyfriend, Russ, were there, and Jenna was there, so I had moral support, which was nice. And I kept catching him staring at me from across the room. Then after dinner, we went to Zeppelin, and he came up to me and asked why I had been ignoring his e-mails, and why I hated him. To which I responded I definitely didn't hate him. And he told me he missed me a lot, and his sheets still smelled like me, and he couldn't bring himself to change them. ((sigh)) And the rest is history...
It almost seems like it's too good to be true, but it just feels so right. I mean it's been so long since I've really, genuinely cared about some one so much.
My friend is out of the hospital too, and I did get to spend some quality time with him, so that was nice.
Yesterday was Daniel's birthday and we spent the whole day together. We went to the baseball game, and then went out for drinks afterwards. And while we were on our way to hitting the drive thru, he told me he loved me. Yea, I know, shocker! But all I could do was grin stupidly, and think about how glad I am that we resolved everything and are giving things another shot. ((sigh))
For all you readers this probably seems like a lot to take in, or maybe that I'm jumping the gun. But keep in mind, all this has happened over a period of almost 2 months. I just haven't been very good about keeping you all updated lately.
I just can't believe how much lighter I feel now that I have Daniel back. This morning, I was having a really bad dream. I had driven my car off a bridge (not on purpose!) and I was drowning. And then Daniel shook me awake.
"Wake up! You have to wake up!" He whispered urgently.
"Why?" I asked groggily.
"Were you having a bad dream?" He asked.
"Yea...how did you know?"
"You were shaking. I could just tell you were having a bad dream, so I had to wake you up." He said, and he pulled me close to him, and I fell back asleep in his arms, to much happier dreams.

And what's so weird about that, is that it is so all-encompassingly analogous to everything that's been going on in my life lately. It was like a nightmare. Like I was drowning. And he pulled me out. :)

I am completely falling, head over heels for this guy.

All In The Family

Last night, me, Jenna and Alyssa's superhot brother, Daniel all made plans to hang out. A couple of weeks ago, Alyssa came up to work with Daniel, and I had mentioned that he was hot. It's weird cuz he has always said that about me, but I was just never attracted to him...until now. And it's not like anything has changed really it's just...I dunno! I always just thought of him as Alyssa's brother. So he myspaced me and we chatted back and forth about inconsequential things for a couple days. Then I told him he should come hang out sometime. So last night, he did!

I met Jenna at her apartment, and then she and I took her car to a small lounge called Metro. Daniel met us there soon afterward. He looked smokin' hot too! He's got the whole tall, dark and mysterious thing going on. Anyways, he's a lot more shy in person than he is on myspace! So it was kind of hard to draw him out. But luckily Jenna and him already knew each other, so we all had a great time!

Oh, and did I mention he rides a Ducati??? ((swoon))

Well, after a couple hours of bar hopping, we were all pretty tossed. Good thing we stayed in the neighborhood. So when we decided to head home, we all piled into Jenna's car to head back to Metro, where Daniel's bike was.
"Um...there's no way I'm riding my bike all the way home like this. Can I crash on your couch or something?" Daniel asked Jenna.

"Then where am I gonna sleep??" I interjected before she could answer.

"Uhhh....am I gonna have to sleep on my own couch?" Jenna said. Lol.

"No, don't be silly!" I said, "We'll figure something out. I can sleep in your bed with you!"

"Or I can sleep on the floor; it doesn't matter." Daniel said.

So we headed back to Jenna's house. She wasted no time getting ready and hitting the sack, but Daniel and I sat on her couch for a while, watching a replay of the baseball game. We sat for a while, and talked some more. I'm a huge baseball fan, so we talked about the Astro's for a while.

"Well, I'm pretty tired..." Daniel said, as he fell sideways onto the pillow.

"Yea me too." I grabbed another pillow and set it on his side. "Do you mind?" I asked as I laid my head down on the pillow and started to make myself comfortable. He didn't answer, but I could hear his heart beating a hundred miles a minute through the pillow, and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Are you nervous or something?" I asked. "Your heart's beating really fast."

He turned away, grinning bashfully.

"I can always go sleep in Jenna's bed, if you want..." I said, still smiling.

"No no, stay." He said.

And then I kissed him! I just couldn't resist anymore. He was looking at me with those fathomless dark eyes. And he had this crooked, bad boy grin...so sexy! And he was an amazing kisser! We kissed for about a minute, and then he pulled away, kind of suddenly. I started to giggle again.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing really, it's just...you're Alyssa's brother!" I burst into another fit of giggles.

"Well, yea...you're Alyssa's friend!" He said.

"So?" I said, and moved to kiss him again, but he turned away.

"Did I say something to offend you?" I asked, kind of shocked, and definitely embarrassed that he was turning down my advances. I mean, just a moment ago, we were full on making out!

"No, it's just...you're quite the player." He said teasingly.

"What!? I am not! What are you talking about??"

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" he asked.

I sighed deeply before responding. I should have known Alyssa would have said something. I mean, she definitely warned me to stay away from him, but I never listen.

"No. I don't. At least not anymore. It just...wasn't working out." I finally answered.

Then he kissed me again.

"Your hair is so amazing." He said as he ran his fingers through it. "It's the softest hair I've ever felt."

"Nah...it's just thin. I wish it was thick, like yours." I said, and I grabbed a handful of his thick, black hair and gave it a tug. His eyes immediately rolled back and he sighed deeply. He was melting like butter. I smiled and kept running my hands through his hair. He was enjoying it about as much as a dog likes to have his belly rubbed.

We kissed some more, and I pulled his hair some more...

"You have to stop doing that." He said, breathlessly.

"Why? You seem to be enjoying it..." I said coyly.

"Yea but...it feels too good. It's making me..." He trailed off, and I kissed him some more.

It didn't get any farther than that. Just kissing and hair pulling, hehe, and we eventually fell asleep. Both of us, squished, on the couch. Lol.

But all day today I couldn't stop thinking about him! I sent him a message on myspace telling him I had a really good time, and that we should do it again soon. And he wrote back, very enthusiastically, and said yes, we should hang out again, ASAP!

When I told Alyssa about it, all she could say was, "Eww! He is such a man whore! Ugh!" To which, I couldn't help but laugh. Apparently, I'm not the first of her friends he's kissed. But I think I actually like him! And that is so not good. I mean, he has a 4 year old daughter, and he has a history of being irresponsible but...yet...I find him so irresistible! He's just got this really raw sex appeal, and I just can't help myself!

Now, I know what you're thinking...it's too soon after BJ, and maybe he's just a rebound but... No. I mean Daniel and I have had this chemistry for at least a month, but I never acted on it because I knew in my head that he was sort of off limits. You know, being Alyssa's big brother. And then I ended up with BJ, so I sort of just put Daniel out of my mind. But...now I can't stop thinking about him! And he's tall! And he's sexy! And kind of dangerous, but really sweet, and shy, and mysterious. And he rides a motorcycle!! AHHHH!

So I'm not sure what I'm gonna do but...I plan on going out with Jenna again tomorrow, and I think he may be joining us!


Demetri Of The Day:
"It was my friend’s birthday and I was mad at him, so I sent him a card. It said happy birthday, but I put quotes around the word “Happy”… sarcastic birthday, douchebag."

Roller Coaster

Thursday night around 7ish, Friend Boy called me.

"Are you ready??" he sounded excited.
"Yep! Should I start heading in your direction?"
"Yea, sounds good. Just give me a call when you're pulling into the gate." he said.
"Ok. Give me at least 30 minutes to get over there, cuz I dunno what traffic's gonna be like."
"Ok. See ya soon!"

And that was that. So I got to his place, and we each had a glass of wine, and chatted while we waited for our cab. He told me I looked pretty, which made me blush profusely. Then our cab finally arrived, and we were off to the city! FB is very outgoing, I noticed. He struck up a conversation with the cab driver on our way, and tipped him generously. The first bar we went into was an Irish pub. There weren't very many people there, but we sat down at the bar, ordered a couple beers and just...talked! We talked about our friends, and family, and the craziness that was last weeked... Then FB got up to go to the bathroom, and Bethany called.
"Hey! Guess what!?" I said.
"What?"
"I'm on a date with a guy you might know!"
"WHAT?? WHO!?" she asked.
I told her his name, remembering that they both went to the same high school.
"Oh my god! That's crazy! I remember him! Well, I don't wanna interrupt your date. Ya'll have fun, and call me tomorrow!" she said.
"Ok, I definitely will!" and we hung up the phone.
When FB came back from the bathroom, we decided to head to the bar across the street, which was another Irish pub. But that's what he had said he wanted to do: go to some pubs.
We ended up sitting at the bar next to a young guy from England. And FB, being so friendly, struck up a conversation with him too! Before long, we were all taking shots, and talking about soccer. Apparently Friend Boy was an avid soccer player for 18 years. Hot...
So I definitely had a buzz going by this point, but I was trying to play it cool, and we were just enjoying ourselves talking. Then around 11, we went to The Flying Saucer, which is famous for its one hundred plus taps. I got my favorite "beer", Lindeman's Framboise. A raspberry flavored Belgian beer, which is served in champagne flute. Then FB asked if I wanted to play some darts. I warned him that I'm horrible, and could possibly impale someone, but he just laughed and said he wanted to teach me. So we went over to the dart boards, and he was explaining to me how to play cricket, and I must have been giggling or something, because he stopped, looked at me, and then just suddenly kissed me!
"Sorry...I just had to do that." he said.
I smiled. And kissed him some more.
So we played a couple rounds of cricket, and I lost, dismally. Lol. But it was still fun.
"You know, if we had been playing shuffleboard, I woulda totally kicked your ass!" I said.
"You like shuffleboard?" he sounded surprised.
"I love it!" I exclaimed.
"Well where can we go that has shuffleboard? Let's find a place!"
So FB asked went to ask the bartender where the nearest bar was with shuffleboard, and we decided to make that our next destination. But as it turns out, we never made it there! As we were driving past Reef, FB mentioned he liked that place.
"Really? I know one of the bartenders, we should go!" I said.
So the cab dropped us off there instead. But when we got inside, there wasn't a person in sight! So we took shots, and decided to walk a couple blocks over by where my work is, and a few other bars. We talked while we walked, and it was pleasantly cool outside. We we got to my work, I decided we should go in there, since I was drunk. Lol. I hadn't been inside that building since Blinn suspended me, but I figured since Mr. S. called me, it wouldn't be a bad idea to make an appearance. It was already 1 am anyways. So we went inside, and Mr. S. gave me a hug, and Blinn gave me a high five, and Nick yelled, "Olive juice!" Haha. We had some more shots, and this is where things start to get fuzzy. I know we stayed there till close, and then took another cab back to his place. Then we made out a lot, until we passed out. At one point, things started to go too far, and I had to stop him. Because I definitely wasn't gonna sleep with him when we were both hammered.
Friday morning, FB woke up at 7 am! Neither of us knows why, but since we were up, we talked some more, and kissed some more...and I just couldn't stop myself this time. He was just so...amazing! And I wanted more of him! And it was great. Almost a relief actually. Then we slept for another couple of hours, woke up, and did it again! Haha.

On a side note, Charlotte sent him a text first thing in the morning that said something along the lines of, "Hope you have a great day today!" What the hell?? Is she seriously trying to get with him, now that he and I are...whatever we are! Ugh... Well back to the story...

"I'm gonna make you a badass breakfast!" he said, "With eggs, and green peppers, and tomatoes, and onions, and bacon..."
"Wow...I am pretty hungry." I said.
And he totally brought me breakfast in bed! And he even cut up fresh pineapple slices! It was delicious. Absolutely hit the spot. We lounged around in bed, and cuddled and watched TV for a while longer. Then around 2:30, I got up to leave. He made a pouty face.
"I wish I could stay longer, but my friend's birthday celebration thing is tonight. And I should probably make an appearance at home before I head over to her place."
"Oh, what are you guys gonna do tonight?" he asked.
"I'm not sure exactly yet. I know we're going to dinner, and then we'll be out in midtown. I just don't know where yet cuz Cecilia hasn't told me what she wants to do."
"Well, you should give me a call when you find out, and maybe we can meet up later. Cuz I'm gonna be out with the boys for sure."
"That sounds great! You guys should totally come hang out with us." I said.
"Ok, yea. Just let me know." he said.
Then he walked me to the parking garage, and gave me kiss goodbye.
"I had a great time last night." he said between kisses.
"Me too." I smiled and kissed him again.
Then we said our goodbyes and I got in the elevator. ((swoon))

I called Melissa on my drive home to dish. Then I called Bethany. Lol.
Then Evan called and asked if I wanted to go eat sushi with him. And since I was starving, I readily agreed. So I went home, got all my stuff together, and a few shirts for Cecilia to chose from, and headed to the restaurant to meet Evan. The sushi was excellent, and Evan and I talked about our dates. He had one on Thursday night too, but apparently his didn't go as well. It turned out his "date" already had a boyfriend! Lol. I called FB around 6:30 to tell him what our plans were, but he didn't answer. So I hung up and sent him a text that said: Hey, our plans are to meet at El Patio at 9 and then head over to Rocbar. So hopefully I'll se you! Give me a call if you wanna meet up.
After sushi, I went over to Cecilia's to get ready. We goofed off as we fixed our hair and put on makeup. She tried on like 8 shirts, and finally decided on one of her own. Then after some running around to pick up Cecilia's friends, we finally headed out to midtown! By this time, I was starting to fret about FB because I had never heard anything back from him! My first reaction in these situations is always to freak out, and overanalyze everything. Like, is he ignoring me? Does he not like me anymore? I shouldn't have slept with him! He thinks I'm a slut! Maybe he was only after sex! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Cecilia told me to chill out and stop worrying about it, but I just couldn't. My mind was somewhere else all night. ((sigh)) I called Melissa while I was in the car, and she said that FB had called one of his guy friends, and that they were going to Rocbar. So why didn't he text me back?? Ugh...

We had some excellent blue margaritas at El Patio. Alyssa and her boyfriend, and Jenna and one of her guy friends met up with us there. Then we all headed over to Rocbar. As soon as I walked in the door, I couldn't stop looking for him. I wasn't even intentionally doing it! I just wanted to know if he was there. But he wasn't...
Alyssa and Cecilia were wasted by midnight. Lol. But I was still distracted about FB. I texted Melissa and asked where they were, and she said they were at the shot bar. "Is FB with you?" I text back, but never got a response.
At 1 am, we all went over to my bar, because Cecilia had never been there and wanted to check it out. When I got to the front door, sexy Mr. P. was standing there, and he gave me a funny smirk.
"Sooo how did that work out for you last night??" he asked sarcastically.
"Uh...great." I said, not really sure what he meant...exactly.
"Where is he?" he asked.
"I don't know!" I said.
"Oh, he didn't call?" Mr. P. grinned sardonically.
"What?! I'm not having this conversation with you!" I spluttered.
Mr. P. laughed, "Well maybe we should have a chat about that later." he joked.
I grabbed Cecilia and we went inside. I made a beeline for Nick to ask him what the hell Mr. P. was talking about. Nick busted out laughing.
"Dude, you and that guy were like...making out in front of everybody last night!"
OHHHH NOOOOOOOO.
"WHAT!? Omg, seriously!? That's so embarrassing..."
Nick laughed again, "Yea, everybody was watching."
"Great. That's the last time I bring a date in here! I'm never gonna hear the end of this!" I wailed.
My night just seemed to be getting worse. Bethany was working, and I told her about FB not calling.
"I'm seriously gonna be devastated if he's blowing me off." I said.
"Well...I wouldn't worry about it yet. I mean you saw him this morning. If he doesn't call you within 3 days, then it's off. But give him 3 days." she said.
I sighed. I hate waiting!
"What time are you going to the party on Sunday?" I asked, changing the subject.
"I think we're gonna try to leave around 4:30. Do you wanna ride with us?" she asked.
"Yea that would be great! Cuz I have no idea where this place is."
"Ok, just meet at my house around 4."
"Ok, I'm excited!" I said.
The lights were already on, and everyone was leaving at this point, so Cecilia gave me a hug, and she and Rob (her husband) left together, followed by Alyssa and her boyfriend. So I went outside (in the freeeezing cold! I left my coat in the car so I wouldn't have to carry it) to start walking to my car.
Then John approached. "Do you need me to drive you home?" he asked, halfway joking.
"No, not today! I'll be ok." I laughed.
"Well do you want me to walk you to your car?" he persisted.
"You don't have to," I said, "I mean...aren't you still technically working?"
"Yea, but this is part of my job." he assured me.
"Ok. Well let's walk fast, cuz I'm freezing!"
"Well here, take my coat." he took it off and put it around my shoulders.
"Thanks." I said.
When we got to my car, I offered to drive him back to work, and he accepted. As soon as I turned on the car, Gillet Of 20 Fingers' "Does anybody wanna have sex tonight?" started blaring on the stereo.
"Uh..." I laughed, embarassed. "Yea...Cecilia left her CDs in my car."
"Nice." he said.
The drive took about 2 minutes, so there wasn't much more talking. He thanked me for the ride, and then I left. I had been hoping to spend the night at FB's again, so it was pretty disappointing to drive all the way home.
((sigh)) I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, but when I woke up this morning, all my feelings of anxiety, and worry came rushing back ten-fold.
I still haven't heard from Friend Boy. Melissa said he was out with them at the shot bar last night, but I never got her text. She also told me that Charlotte and 2 of her friends spent the night at his place last night. Which, isn't exactly unusual considering they crashed there last week. And I'm not really threatened by Charlotte, because honestly, she's short and chubby, and I know he's not into her. But...what if this means he's not into me??
I mean, we had such a great time Thursday night, and I really really like him. It's scary. I hate putting myself out there, because this always seems to happen to me. I mean I know it may be too early to tell yet but...I just have this feeling. And he and I had talked about going back to Drake again tonight, and now...I just don't know.
((Sigh))
What do I do?? What do I think???

Demetri Of The Day:
"I like to do crafts. I work quite a bit with glitter, but don’t worry I make tough stuff, like daggers and skulls. The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you, prepare to have it on you forever, because glitter doesn’t go away. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. It’s like, 'Oh great, here comes the sun; flare up!'"

Grand Opening!

YAY for Christmas!!
Sophie got here on Christmas Eve, which I had to work, so that kinda sucked... The other thing that I'd been feeling apprehensive about lately was The Model. I knew he was going to be in town, and Melissa said Mitchell had texted her and said they'd be going up to my work at some point.
But Christmas Day was nice! And I finally got my own CAMERA! Like a really nice Sony SLR. I'm so excited! ANNNNND, Jenna's sister, Amy, saw the pics I took of Jenna in our photoshoot, and now Amy wants me to do a boudoir shoot of her as a wedding present to her fiance! So that's gonna be exciting! I may actually be able to get this business off the ground!
So in other news, I took Sophie out to midtown Christmas night for her late 21st birthday celebration. She just turned 21 on the 22nd. Melissa and the gang met up, and we had an awesome time! We just hung out at my bar mostly because they were the only place that was open. But I managed to get Sophie drunk, so it was a success!
Unfortunately, Sophie was only here for 3 days, and she left yesterday afternoon, so that was kind of a bummer. We spend the day after Christmas at Todd's family's house. They're English and we always have a traditional Boxing Day celebration at their house. Everyone rewraps a goofy present and brings it to exchange. It's really fun. And I haven't really gotten to hang out with Todd much cuz he's been gone at school. He's on the football team and he's definitely going to be drafted into the NFL! He's set all kinds of records this year. I'm so proud of him! So while we were there, I invited Todd to come out with me to the grand opening of my works new bar. They've been working on this new shot bar for months, and The Albanian is the general manager. So of course, everyone from work was gonna be at the grand opening! So Todd said he would come!
So a few hours later, I was in my favorite white tube top, which I tied a festive red ribbon around the waste, and we were ready! Todd picked me up in his brand new red BMW. SOOO nice...
And the shot bar is freakin' awesome! It's like a new home away from home! Same people, same owners, just a different location! I love it! And I don't think I spent a penny all night! My cousin Paul, and Melissa met us up too that night. Paul was acting very strangely though...he kinda had me worried cuz of his recent stint in rehab for concaine. But anyways, I got soooooo hammered!
And I have to add that Mr. P. is like one of the sexiest men EVER! But the thing that really sticks out in my mind about that night, is how well Todd took care of me. I ended up getting so drunk, I puked in the bathroom, and confessed my undying love for Todd to Alyssa. At least I can trust her!
But...I mean, it's kind of true. Todd has always been one of my best friends, and he's such a great guy. I love him to death! AND he meets all of my standards: tall, attractive, smart, kind, he has everything going for him...
Except that he's not single. ((sigh)) What is it with me always wanting the guys I can't have?? Do I just like to torchure myself or something? ((sigh))
I've been harboring these feelings for Todd for quite some time now, but I've just been in denial about it because...well number one, he has a girlfriend who I really like! And obviously he loves her. And number 2, if they break up, I dunno what to do! I mean, I don't know how to be anything other than his friend! And it's not like I can be my usual forward self with him. I mean, like the way I am with guys I'm crushing on. Grrr this is so frustrating! I can hardly wrap my head around it.
Moving on...
Ok I'm not sure if I mentioned this before or not, but Sophie is getting married! Yea, married. January 8th. Because she and Brent are hippies and they're joining the Peace Corps, and in order to go together they have to be married for 6 months beforehand. So they're having an anti-ceremony in just a few days. Of course I'm gonna go! So I'll be in Florida for about a week in January. It seems so crazy, right!?

Ok, and New Years Eve? I have to work. And it's gonna suck. Although I did give invites to Jenna, Melissa, Charlotte, Mackenzie, and Amanda. I dunno, maybe it'll be fun. We'll see...

Mitch Of The Day:
"I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all."

Charlotte's Birthday

About a week after I got back from New York, Jenna and I did a photoshoot! My first photoshoot! And it was so much fun!! Not to mention the pics came out awesome! I'm really excited because I think this will help me get my freelance photography business off the ground! Woohoo!!

In other news, Melissa is single again! I mean, it kinda sucks for her, because her stupid boyfriend dumped her for his slutty ex, but she's definitely better off! And as soon as I got back from New York, we started to hang out a lot. It was just like old times! Well, she introduced me to a few of her friends, which I began to see a lot of when we went out. First, there's Amanda. She's my age, single, a second grade teacher, really goofy and sweet. Then there's Charlotte. She has a job where she gets to travel a lot, but I'm not really sure what she does. When I met her, her and her boyfriend of 4 years had recently split. Then there's Mackenzie. She's a promo girl for Tito's vodka, so I see her at work a lot. Anyways, all three of them are great, and the 5 of us always have a blast when we hang out!
So Charlotte's birthday was a couple weeks ago, and we all decided to make a trip to Austin for the night to celebrate. I was able to get my shift picked up at the last minute, lucky me!
We all drove together in Charlotte's company car. We had so much fun talking, and singing loudly and horribly to Justin Timberlake in the car. I texted Tommy to tell him to come hang out, but he was in Houston! What are the chances...
We stayed at a really nice hotel in the heart of Austin, just a few blocks from 6th Street! It was perfect!
So we all got dressed and ready in the hotel room and then went to have dinner at Truluck's, which is a fancy steakhouse in Austin, with the best blueberry martinis! Dinner was amazing, and we all left feeling content.
The first place we headed was 6th St. We went to Josh's bar, and he gave us a couple rounds of shots, as usual, in exchange for a kiss. Although, I noticed there's not really any sparks between us anymore. It's more of a routine than anything. He told me to come back later and see him though.
We hit up the usual bars, getting tons of free drinks along the way! It was so much fun!
But later on in the night, we got split up into 2 groups. Me, Melissa and Charlotte, and Amanda and Mackenzie. For some reason, I was feeling quite sober, while Melissa and Charlotte were quite the opposite! Charlotte was talking to every person she encountered, and practically tripping over her own feet by the time we made it to 4th Street. I was also the only one who was smart enough to bring a jacket, so Melissa and Charlotte wouldn't stop whining about how cold it was. I ended up just giving them my coat to share, so I wouldn't have to listen to them complain anymore.
Well, I was started to get irritated, being the only sober person, and Melissa was starting to get mad, because she was convinced that Amanda and Mackenzie had ditched us. So things were starting to go downhill by this point. Then we went back to Josh's bar to see him, and the door guy wouldn't let us back in. This sent Melissa flying off the handle! It's pretty funny, in retrospect, but at the time, she was scary! I thought she was gonna spit on the guys shoes! So we left, and started heading towards a pizza stand, Melissa still mumbling strings of profanities about the door guy. She had also ignored probably 6 of Amanda's calls, because she was mad at her too. Lol.
When we got inside the pizza parlor, Charlotte started crying. No warnings! Just tears! She was so drunk, she could hardly walk or talk, and now she was sobbing too! So Melissa and I got the pizza and started our trek back the hotel, practically supporting Charlotte. We both kept telling her to stop crying, but she just couldn't stop!
"Why are you crying Charlotte?! It's your birthday, and you've had a great time, and you have no reason to be crying! STOP CRYING!" Melissa scolded her.
"I know," Charlotte sniffled. "I just can't help it!" she continued to sob.
We both knew it was about her ex, but there was no comforting her. She just wanted to cry!
So there I was, walking down the street with Mad and Sad. What a sight we were! And I was freezing my ass off, in a halter top with no coat. When we got back to the hotel, Mackenzie and Amanda were already there waiting. We had both room keys. Melissa said something snippish to Mackenzie about them leaving us, and got in the elevator without us. Amanda tried comforting Charlotte and Mackenzie was asking me why Melissa was mad at them. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! I just wanted to scream!
"Look, we've all been drinking, let's just go to bed and deal with this crap in the morning!" I said.
So that's what we did. But by the time we were all in bed, everyone had made up, and Charlotte had stopped crying, and everything was fine again. Except that it literally took me a good 30 minutes to thaw out and stop shivering! Plus I was sharing a bed with Melissa and Charlotte so I hardly slept a wink.
But I think it was worth it.
I love my girls!

Mitch Of The Day:
"I think a rotisserie is a really morbid Ferris wheel for chickens. We will take a chicken, impale it, and then rotate it. Spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water. I like dizzy chickens!"