Life in The Big Easy

I have so many things to write about now, that if I don’t get them down quickly, I’m going to get way behind on my blog again!

I just needed the last couple weeks to settle in and establish my routine. I still don’t have internet at my place yet though. I’ve found that not having the internet actually makes me leave the house more, and it’s become less of a priority. But I’m gonna have to get it soon, cuz I need it for work. So it’s on the list.

Anyway, my first few weeks here in NOLA have been great. I’m totally unpacked, pictures are hung, decorations are up, and my house feels like home. It’s like 5x bigger than my apt in Chicago! I love it. I am gonna have to get a roommate though. My mother insists… But I’m holding out as long as possible. Haha. This city is amazing. It feels so homey to me, it’s almost like I’ve always been here, ya know? I loved living in Chicago, and I made some really great friends, but I never really fit in there like I do here. I always knew Chicago was just a pitstop on my way to somewhere awesome, and this is definitely it. Bethany and I have pretty much picked up where we left off since she lives here now too, and it’s almost like that fiasco in Chicago never happened. And I’m totally ok with that. She’s grown up a lot too since then, I think. We both have. And our friendship is really solid, and that’s such a nice feeling. Taryn came to visit a couple weeks ago for my welcoming party. I’m not currently online, I’m just typing this in Word, so I can’t look back in my blog and see what I’ve already told you guys about, but did I mention that my mom got engaged? To my boss?? Lol. I thought it might be a conflict of interest, but it’s been totally cool so far. I feel comfortable around Jim like I’ve never really felt with an authority figure. And he’s a great boss and mentor. Well now I’m getting off topic, but the reason I brought Jim up is because he’s the one that threw me the welcoming party. And it was tons of fun. All my mom’s family was there, and Taryn and Bethany, and I’m getting to be pretty good friends with Jim’s youngest daughter, Helen. She just started college, and obviously needs a big sister/friend type person in her life. So I guess that’s me.

Well anyway, life here is great so far. Now onto the other big news…

John. You know, the John that just keeps cropping up over the years?

He’s finally taking a vacation after months of working nonstop. He wasn’t able to help me move, because he was still in California for work. Apparently he worked for like 3 months straight with no days off, and now he has 5 weeks of vacation that he has to take. So he’s doing it now. So I texted him the other day. And I’m just gonna post screen shots of our conversation here. I photoshopped all the screen shots together to make it easier to read.

So…BELIZE!!! Or should I say, Belize??? Because I didn’t hear from him all day yesterday, and this conversation happened on Sunday, and now I have no idea what’s going on. Obviously, I really want to go, I mean, this kind of stuff just doesn’t happen in real life! Especially not to me! Guy sweeps girl off feet with grand gesture by taking her to the land of milk & honey…and beaches. Lol. And all day Sunday I felt like I was walking on air… But then Monday goes by, and I still don’t hear from him, and now I’m left wondering, Is he having second thoughts? Was he a little drunk at the time? What’s going on!?

But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, that’s John for ya. He always does this shit to me. Works me up, then lets me down. Even when I was on Cloud 9 about this, I knew it wasn’t a good idea to get my hopes up. But we’ll see what happens. ((Sigh))

I’m taking my first trip to Houston this weekend so that my dad can work on my car, and because it’s Carrie’s birthday. And I have a driving buddy! Her name is Lauren. I met her through Taryn and Carrie, she lives here in NOLA, and she’s super cool. So we’re both driving down Friday afternoon. And I’ve been excited about it, because it’s been a while since I’ve made a trip to Houston. My last trip there, which was unplanned, and only for a night, doesn’t count! The only crappy part is that Taryn’s gonna be out of town with her family for the holiday. But she and Carrie had a big falling out a while back, so maybe it’s for the best. I won’t have to worry about trying to divide my time between the 2 of them. I really wish they’d just bury the hatchet already!

But anyway, so there’s this guy… Lol. His name is Dustin. I’ve never really mentioned him before, because it was never important till now, but I know him through my ex, Brandon. He used to come into the bar I worked at in Houston, and he’s really hot, plays professional arena football, and he’s really sweet. But I never really thought of him in that way, because of Brandon. And I guess he felt the same. We lost touch for a couple years, but then I found him on Facebook a few months back and we got to chatting.

So the other night, I had this dream about him. I’m just gonna do the screen shot thing again so I don’t have to type our whole conversation.

So, we exchanged numbers and we've been chatting. And it looks like I may be having some fun this weekend in Houston! ;) We’ll see… I’ll definitely keep you guys posted on my boy drama.

Tata!

NOLA

I know I haven't posted in a while, but that's because I don't have the internet set up at my new place yet, so it's been really touch and go. But I love my new job, I love my new place, and I love living here!! I'll catch you guys up soon, I promise!

Chicago: 4, Peyton: 0

Omg...so much has happened recently that every time I'm like, "Man I really need to catch up on my blog!" the thought of everything I need to write just seems too daunting. Lol.
My birthday was a blast. I met a cute guy, got a phone number, and made out with a stranger. Lol. Needless to say, I had quite a bit to drink, but hey! No regrets. The guy I met (Kyle) continued to text me up until the beginning of this month, but it's been a couple of weeks since I've heard from him so... I dunno. I'm moving in 2 weeks!! Maybe I'll text him when I get there.

After my bday, things went kind of downhill...
I came home from NOLA and got the stomach flu, wasn't able to work, or even get out of bed for a week. It was seriously, TERRIBLE. Everything was coming out my butt. Lol. TMI?
Then I had to go to Mexico to shoot a wedding. That was a blast, and luckily I was feeling much better by then. Jenna was there, and we had so much fun hanging out by the pool, and going to the beach, etc.
But then I got back from that trip, and threw my back out! I was carrying a 50lb backpack full of camera equipment for a week, so that's probably why. But I was out of work for yet another week! For a grand total of 4 weeks off work. During which time, I only made $250. From the wedding. (They paid the majority of my fee ahead of time). So I'm basically still trying to get caught up on all my bills, and I haven't really been able to do all the fun things I was hoping to get to do in my last month living in Chicago.

Although we had our staff trip in Green Bay last week, and I did go to the Renaissance Faire with Brent and Taylor, and my friend Becky who lives in Wisconsin, on Sunday - both of which were super fun! But then my car was towed Monday morning. Another $200 down the drain.

I literally feel like Chicago is rejecting me. It's telling me to getthefuckout. And I'm more than happy to oblige. I'm so over this city. I just don't want to be here anymore. And I'm soooooo soooo excited about moving to New Orleans, and starting my career, and living in the South again. OMG THE HOT GUYS...((drool)). Lol. I seriously can't wait to get out of here.

Sophie left for a year in Guatemala on the first of the month (she got a cool job), and since then, Chicago hasn't been the same. I mean it's the same, and yet, almost as if the ground beneath me has shifted, or everything is sort of slanted? It's hard to explain. It just doesn't feel right. Part of that is because I really miss Sophie, part of it is because I'm ready to move on, and part of it is because my life has been so up and down rocky the last few weeks. I just feel very unsettled. Even my apartment doesn't seem like a place of refuge anymore. My landlord has been showing it to people, looking for a new tenant, so I keep having to get up and leave in the middle of the day; plus there have been workers painting and doing repairs to the building like every morning for the last 3 weeks! And I work at night, so I would like to be able to sleep past 8am, but NOOOOOO!! I must be woken promptly at 8am with loud banging, Tejano music, and men hanging from scaffolding right outside my bedroom window. Ugh. Literally, that happened. And I was asleep. In my underwear. Imagine my surprise. ((Sigh))

Well, enough bitching. I'm sorry this post has been so cut and dry, but now that I'm caught up, hopefully I will feel better about blogging in the future. Move date is the 27th, though, so bear with me if I disappear for a bit around then.

Do My Friends Suck?

My 30th birthday is in 2 weeks. In late January, I planned a trip to New Orleans to celebrate, and invited 10 friends of my closest friends. Of course my sister is coming, but only like 5 more said they would come. And in the last week, all of them have bailed on me. Every one except my sister, and Bethany, who already lives in New Orleans. Some friends I have.
Why does my birthday have to suck every year?! WHY!? I mean I expect it to suck, cuz it always does, but this year is my 30th, and I wanted it to be special, and I wanted to spend it with my friends. And I mean, New Orleans is driving distance from Houston, so it's not that big of a deal. And of course Taryn tells me she can't go, when she's in Puerto Rico, with her new boozy bestie, who I'm not a fan of. Ugh. She can go to fucking Puerto Rico, but she can't come to New Orleans for her supposed best friends birthday?! She's known about this since JANUARY!!
I'm just so upset!!
Is this normal?? Because I know that I'm a good friend. I don't flake on people. I never forget birthdays. I sent cards, and buy prezzies and throw fucking surprise parties! Why do none of my friends ever do stuff like that for me!? Is that too much to ask? Seriously. Is it?

FRONT PAGE NEWS!

Been meaning to post all week, but it's been crazy.
Great news though!!
I got a job! A real job! A photography job!! Working for the chief photo editor of a newspaper in New Orleans!! So I'm moving to New Orleans!! Lol. Not till August though. :/ Still stuck in Chi till then. But I couldn't be more thrilled! I actually get to do something I love, and get paid for it. And the odds of finding a job in my field are not great. So I'm really lucky! I mean it doesn't hurt that my mom is dating the guy who wants to hire me, but I asked him if their relationship had anything to do with him hiring me and he said no. He saw my portfolio on facebook, and thinks I'm a great portrait photographer, and he needs good photographers right now, apparently. And he said he would think that even if he wasn't crazy about my mom. So I'll be working for a paper, doing editorial work, and he said he's gonna teach me how to write captions for the paper, and shoot sports! I'll get to go to Saints games for free! With a press pass! Plus all kinds of other cool events. It's weird sometimes how things work out. Especially for me, because up until recently it never seemed like things were actually working in my favor. But perhaps my luck is turning.
No real news on John though. We continued to talk the next day, but not about anything important. And I haven't heard from him much recently. Actions speak louder than words. So I'm just gonna try to forget about him. I can't promise I'll be successful though. It was so nice having someone to talk with all day, about all sorts of random things. I had forgotten how fun it can be to get to know someone. ((Sigh))
Well I'm just gonna do me right now. My days are numbered here and I'm gonna try to make the most of them.

UGH!!

Once again, sorry for the Twitter spam, guys. I didn't think it would continue to send out those invites, but I have figured out how to stop them. Unfortunately, Twitter is down today so I haven't been able to fix it yet. I will keep checking and take care of it as soon as I can.

Aside from that, I am literally having the worst day ever! I'm in NOLA because my Aunt and Uncle hired me to take my cousins high school graduation photos. My uncle is a pilot so he even got me buddy passes to come here for free. So today, Macie and I were out walking around (and I was carrying my camera equipment, plus all her stuff) in the city all day. It was fun, but exhausting, and Macie can be kind of a pain in the ass.
First she got makeup all over her white dress right when we were about to leave. Then she forgot her shoes, and we had already left the house, and I had to turn around and drive back. Then, after driving around forever and finally finding a parking spot in the Quarter, she realized she had forgotten her jeans! I told her forget it, we weren't going back and we were wasting time, but she whined about the jeans all day.
The shoot was fun, overall, and we even managed to get onto a hotel room balcony in the French Quarter for free! Then we got home, and she insisted I take more pictures of her in the jeans, and I obliged, since she's family, even though no photographer would normally do an all day photoshoot like that just for senior pictures. But still, I was soooo excited to see all the awesome photos I took, and immediately went upstairs and plugged my SD card into my laptop. Low and behold, there was NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL ON THE CARD.
I put the card back in the camera. "Card Not Formatted" flashed at me. The photos were just gone. ALL OF THEM! And I still have no idea how!! I didn't erase or reformat anything! I just did what I always do, everything time I go to upload my photos and they just weren't there! My whole trip for nothing, my entire day of hard work! Not to mention, and I haven't told you guys this yet, but on Saturday I went straight to the airport after work for a 9am flight that I wasn't able to get on. I didn't actually get on a flight till 8pm that night and it didn't even take me to NOLA! I had to go to Houston first and then drive to NOLA with my uncle in a rental car!! It was fucking terrible!! I spent the whole day in the airport and went 2 straight days with no sleep. For nothing!!!!
Ugh. So I spent this entire evening looking into recovery software, and it seemed to be working at first; or at least, it seemed to be doing something, but after 4 hours I still had no results and I started panicking again. Luckily, my Mom's new boyfriend just happens to be a photographer. Actually, he's Pulitzer winning photographer, and a very, very nice man, because he offered to take a look at my SD card and it is now 1 in the morning. My very, very nice mother, is driving over to his place right now so he can look at it. He must really like my mom now that I think about it. I'm so so grateful that he is doing this, because that means there is still hope! But I don't know how I can possibly sleep. I haven't mentioned any of this to my Aunt and Uncle, or to Macie. I'm hoping I won't have to. I mean I'm dreading having to do that! I really hope that's not the case. Uuuuuuggghhhh!! I mean I flew all the way here, and I don't know when I would be able to make it back... Plus Macie skipped school today for this. Ok...enough about the photos. I'm just having a hard time thinking about anything else.

My one night in Houston was actually fun, aside from the fact that Taryn drove to the wrong airport to pick me up. Yep. After all that shit, and I finally get out of the airport, and we had plans to go out and get wasted, I forget to tell her which airport. Stupid, stupid me. Oh well, we still went out. And John was in town, and was on his way to meet us, but he got pulled over for not completely stopping at a stop sign, and then asked to do a field sobriety test! So he didn't make it. And he wasn't answering his phone at all, so at the time I just assumed he was blowing me off. And of course Taryn was telling me I shouldn't put up with that, and if he was really into me and knew I was in town, he would make every effort to see me. And I agreed with her. Until the next morning when he texted me about almost going to jail, and then I felt bad. So I asked him if I was going to get to see him or what? He responded that he was already on his way back to Louisiana because he was having stuff delivered to his apartment and he needed to be there. Then I said, "Oh, I didn't mean today" (my uncle was already on his way to get me from Taryn's place) and he just never responded again. I mean, when I told him I was going to be in Louisiana, which just happens to be where he lives, I thought surely we would get an opportunity to see each other. Clearly, I was wrong. He knew I was here all week and didn't even text me once. ((Sigh)) I really thought he was different. And maybe he is, but clearly his priorities don't include me. He's a workhorse, and I get it, but it wasn't work this time. He just...blew me off. There's no other explanation. And that's really hard for me to accept. But I guess I don't really have a choice.
Speaking of getting blown off, you know who else blew me off this week??
Todd.
And how is it that I manage to still be surprised by these things??
Guys are dicks.
FML.



***UPDATE***
I was able to recover all the photos!! YAYYYYY!!!!! :)

The Search is On

For a new roommate that is.
Joey is moving out. He's going back to the burbs, which is where he spends 90% of his time already. It just makes sense for him to move back. So Dane and I have begun the search for his replacement. On the one hand, I'm kind of excited. I mean, this is a potential opportunity for me to make a new friend, or friends! But on the other hand, I'm dreading it because what if this person turns out to really suck!? And I just really don't want a female roommate. I intentionally picked a place with 2 guys because I don't want to live with girls. Just...too much drama. I expressed this opinion to Dane, and he understands, but we are both going to have an equal say in the new roomie, so hopefully it won't be someone I hate.

I'm leaving for New Orleans in 4 days! I can't wait. I'm really excited to see my family, and maybe Todd too. I still haven't told him I'm coming, and I'm not even sure if he'll be back in NOLA yet, but I'm gonna text him when I get there.

And when I get back from NOLA, I think I'm gonna have to start looking for a new job. I'm not really making any money where I'm at now, they're not giving me enough shifts, and there's just so much bullshit that comes with working at that place! They want us to advertise all their specials on our facebook pages, check in every time we get to work, get 10 emails per shift so they can spam their customers... And if we don't get emails, we get our shifts taken away! WTF?!
Hire a fucking marketing person for that shit. That's soooo fucking annoying to me. What if I decide to apply for a professional job in the near future and they find me on facebook and see all this crap about some bar littering my profile! How is that going to make me look??? Not to mention, I only have like two friends in Chicago right now, so my "advertising" isn't even doing them any good! It's just pointless!
And they expect us to just drop everything to help them decorate, and go to trash pickups, when they don't pay us. They say it's voluntary, but when we don't show up, we get bitched at. It's fucking bullshit dude. I'm so sick of working there. I really like my coworkers, but it's just not worth it to me anymore. Ugh. I'm so sick of bartending. I can't wait till I'm done with school and I can get a real job and not have to worry about this shit anymore. UUUUGGHHHH!!!

Ok sorry, that was my rant for the day.

I'm just so relieved that summer has officially started, and I'm about to take a much needed vacation!
Ahhhhh....

Growing Up

Thanks so much everyone, for all the encouraging comments. It's so nice to know I'm not alone!! I know my posts lately have been few and far between, but it seems like these days I only use my computer to write papers and do research, and of course, for the occasional visit to Amazon.com...

But alas! This week is my last week of school for the semester! Which means I'll have a lot more free time, which will hopefully lead to me making some more friends, and being able to actually go out and do things with them.

Nicole and I never hang out anymore. I feel like she kind of just...ditched me one day. Decided I wasn't cool enough, or whatever, and just stopped inviting me to do things. Maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way. I mean, she is very busy, and has like 3 jobs, but then again...she had 3 jobs when we first started hanging out. There's just something about her that reminds me of Melissa, and therefore leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Like, I can't trust her, or expect much from her. So I don't. But, oh well.

I have made at least 1 good friend at school. Her name is Jenni, and we both transferred in together, and have 1 class together. She's much younger than me though, so I feel like sometimes the age gap defines the friendship. She's doing and experiencing things that I no longer have an interest in. Like binge drinking. Lol. But it is kind of nice to feel like the mature, responsible one. Haha. And she seems to think I'm so...wise. She's never had a boyfriend before, and is constantly asking me for advice, and my opinion on things. It's strange. But I suppose wisdom does come from experience. And when you're 21, the world is your oyster. Jenni just starting dating a guy named Tymo (he's from Poland), who is also in our class, and he's pretty cool too. So the 3 of us often chum around campus together, and I've taken them to the comedy show a couple of times as well. But as usual, I am the 3rd wheel.

My birthday is coming up, unfortunately, and I decided to fly into New Orleans to see my family. Sophie will be there too, because she's stopping in Houston on her way to Mexico for 3 months. Some kind of work study thing. So she and my mom are driving into NOLA for the weekend. I will be there for a whole week, so I plan on spending time with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I definitely didn't want to stay in Chicago, because even though I don't feel much like celebrating my birthday, I don't want to spend it alone either. Besides, it's not like I have anyone to celebrate with out here anyway. And I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm just being realistic. I haven't had a lot of opportunities to make new friends. The only people I see are my classmates and coworkers! But like I said before, I'm hoping that that's about to change.

Today while I was at work I randomly heard from a friend I haven't talked to in a while. John. Remember John? We used to work together at the bar in Houston, he was in the marines way back when, and he's always been a little...unusual. But we've always had this attraction to one another. He's a nice guy just...mysterious, I suppose. But anyway, we do randomly text each other here and there, just to say hi, or Happy Birthday or whatever. So we chatted for a bit. And I was telling him he should come visit me in Chicago, you know like I say to everyone, and he mentioned he had a lot of miles saved up, as well as month's worth of vacation time, and that he couldn't think of anything better to do with the time and miles. Only under the condition that we make out, he joked. But I called him out on his "joke" and told him that I wouldn't be opposed to making out with him, if he decided to make the trip. And that got me thinking...

And I don't know if I was just thinking about him because of my long dry spell, or out of sheer desperation, but I started to wonder if maybe he and I could ever work out as an actual couple. I mean we've always had chemistry, it just seems that in the past, something was always in the way. And his drinking always bothered me, because although he doesn't drink often, when he does, he gets so obliterated, he does a bunch of stupid shit and then passes out in strange places. But...it's been a couple years since I've seen him. He moved to Russia (or somewhere in that general vicinity) for a job long before I left for Chi Town. So maybe he's changed, or grown up...or something. Lol. Who knows?

But the fact that I've been single for this long is already starting to alter my judgement. In some ways good, and in some ways bad. I've been considering things that I would never give a moment's thought to before. John, for example. But then I also second guess myself and think, "Well I should just tell John to forget it, because I'm not interested in some one week fling. I'm too old for that shit." Lol.

((Sigh))

I guess this is growing up.

The Wedding

Saturday morning, the alarm went off too soon.

"Were you crying last night?" Brandon asked when he noticed the mascara on my pillowcase.

"Yea." I admitted.

"Why?? Did I do something??" He sounded worried.

"No."

"Then...why were you crying?" Concern colored his voice.

"I was just...sad." I said, as I walked to the bathroom.

"About Oliver?" He asked.

I nodded.

"It'll be ok." He said, pulling me into a hug.

The wedding was held at a museum of sorts. It was pretty cool! I did Sophie's hair and makeup. She looked beautiful. This was a Renaissance themed wedding, so a lot of people came dressed up. Sophie's dress was stunning! It was purple and white, with floor length sleeves and a hoop skirt.

I put on my chemise and corset and put the finishing touches on my hair and makeup. Before we knew it, it was time for the ceremony to start.

Everything went great. They recited their own vows, which were touching. The ceremony and reception were both in the same place. The museum had one big open room, with wood floors and lots of light-up artwork on the walls. Downstairs, underneath the big hall were restrooms and a small kitchen, which was where we all got ready. Some of Sophie and Brent's friends played guitar and sang during the reception, and we all danced and took lots of pictures. It was so much fun! And I was able to keep all my dark thoughts at bay for the entire wedding. Brandon and I danced, and hung out and had a really good time.

Afterwards, my parents dropped us off back at the hotel to rest. Everyone had had a long day and we were all ready for a break. Brandon and I stripped to our underwear and got into bed. He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Thanks for coming with me." I said.

"No problem babe. It was fun." He said, kissing my forehead.

"Brandon?" I looked up into his eyes.

"Yes?" He said with a curious grin on his face.

"I love you."

I had to say it. It was about to explode out of me if I didn't. I mean, I'd never felt it so strongly before, and had to hold it in. I just had to say it!

"You do??" He said, genuinely surprised, "What makes you assume that?"

"It's not an assumption. I just do."

"Oh. Well that's good to hear. I guess I must be doing something right!" He grinned at me and squeezed me tighter.

It wasn't an 'I love you too', which would have been nice but... He'll say it when he's ready I guess.

I laid my head back on his shoulder and went to sleep.

Happy Turkey Day!

So here I am in New Orleans! Thanksgiving dinner was amazing, as always. Sophie and I ate so much today, we named our inner fat girls. Lol. This post is gonna be short cuz I'm just about to go to sleep. We're all going to Cafe Du Monde for breakfast tomorrow morning and I definitely wanna be awake for that!
I'm missing Brandon like crazy...his warm body next to mine, his kisses, his voice, his scent, his perfect smile... He's been calling and texting me a lot though so I know he misses me too. :) I just can't wait to see him! I mean I'm falling so hard for him it's scary. Or at least it should be scary, but it's not! For once, it's a welcome feeling. And you know why that is? Because I know that no matter how far, or how hard I fall, Brandon will still be there to catch me when I reach the bottom. ((Sigh))

New Orleans

I can't remember the last time I was this exhausted. My whole body aches. Ugh...
Friday night was pretty busy, and I didn't get home till around 4, which gave me only 3 hours to sleep before I had to drive to the airport. I already had everything packed, not just for New Orleans, but for the party Sunday too.
So when 7 am came, I just got out of bed and left.
The flight was too short to take a nap, and I had just drank a RockStar energy drink, so I was tired, but unable to close my eyes. My dad picked me up at the airport and we drove over to my grandparents' house. I haven't been there since before Hurricane Katrina. It's weird how everything looks the same, but different. Not because of the hurricane, just because I have all these distant childhood memories of that place, ya know? And my memories don't really match up to what I saw. Everything just looked so...small! There's this house about 2 doors down from them, and Sophie and I used to think it was this big haunted mansion. Lol. But really it's just a larger than average suburban house. Maybe 5 bedrooms. ((sigh)) It still looks kind of creepy though.
Anyways, Sophie and Brent had driven straight through the night from Florida to get there, so when we arrived, they were upstairs sleeping. Which was exactly what I was intending to do, but I just couldn't seem to escape the family and the excitement and get some shuteye. So I gave up and played with my cousin, Lily. My Aunts Jessica, Josie and Suzanne were already there.
After an hour of visiting, my mom and the aunts headed over to the church to set things up for Poppa and Grandma's 50th Wedding Anniversary party. I went with my Dad, Uncles and cousins to the French Quarter where our hotel was.
Then me and my dad, Noelle, Maddox, Macie, Uncle David, Jonah, Lexi and Savanna and their future step father, BC, (and my future uncle!) all decided to walk a couple blocks down the street for lunch. We ate at this authentic cajun place. It was really good! And of course, we goofed off and played games at the table. The "adults" and Maddox were sitting at a different table, than me and the teenagers. We played this game where you open a bunch of sugar packets, as many as there are people playing, and you dump one of them out, and fill it with salt. Then everybody picks a packet, and you all dump them in your mouth at the same time and try to guess which person got the salt. Lol. But if you get the salt, you have to try not to make a face! Haha, so juvenile, I know. But it was fun.
After lunch we headed back to the hotel to get ready for mass, the vow renewal ceremony, and then the party. Everyone met at the church. I finally got to say hi to Sophie and Brent, and my Uncle Dan, who I hadn't seen yet. Uncle Dan recently had a stroke, about 4 months ago, which left him pretty much helpless for 3 weeks. So my mom and Aunts had to take turns staying with him and helping him out. He in the middle of a law suit now with the hospital, because he went to the hospital 3 times with symptoms and they misdiagnosed him every time! Anyways, he has a slight limp now, but he's still in high spirits.
The ceremony was nice and touching, and party was fun and relaxing. By this time, my lack of sleep was really starting to catch up to me. Finally we headed back to the hotel and we all went swimming. Then I got into a superfun fight with my mom, about the dog again. I don't know why she always feels the need to bring the same shit up and nag me about it, every time I talk to her! I mean I was having a good time, I was in a good mood, and then she tells me that if I get a dog (which I already have, she just doesn't know about it. He's getting here Wednesday!), then she's gonna "get rid of" Benny. Benny is my childhood dog, who lives at home with Sophie's dog. They're best friends! They can't be separated! Plus, Mom and I never once discussed me taking Benny, or her getting rid of him when I decided to move up. She's only bringing it up now, because I wanna get a puppy, and she doesn't want me to. That's what it all boils down to. It's ridiculous. ((sigh)) I'm still mad at my mother about this too. Even my dad agrees that she can never just...let things be. She always has to stir things up! URRRGH!!!
So now it's the end of the night, and not only am I exhausted, but I'm pissed. Me, Noelle, Jonah, Lexi and Savanna walked down to the Cafe du Monde to get some beignets. I wanted to get some fresh air, and clear my head, and not think about my mother.
Afterwards, I finally went to bed. And I slept like a rock. Until I had to get up 5 hours later and hop on another plane. ((sigh))
And that is a story for another blog.

The Tank Is Almost on 'E'

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'm on the first flight to New Orleans. It's my grandparents' 50th Wedding Anniversary and the entire immediate family is going to NOLA for the weekend for a mini family reunion. Then Sunday morning, bright and early, I'm on the first flight back to Houston because we're having our summer staff outing. I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but Tuaca is hosting the party; we've got a double-decker boat on the lake, with a slide, caterers, and free alcohol all day! It's gonna be so much fun!! Everyone at work is really pumped about it.
Things in the boy department have been kinda slow. My guy from Austin, J, did text me again on Monday. He was at the airport and wanted my myspace info so we could still talk while he's in Germany, since obviously he won't be able to use his phone. I'm still being very cautious about everything though, and I'm not letting myself get my hopes up.
Rusty texted me this past Sunday as well, and wanted me to go see his show. Our conversation went something like this:
Rusty: Hey, what are you doing?
Me: I just got home from a movie. What's up?
Rusty: I'm playing a show tonight, you should come.
Me: Oh really? Where at?
Rusty: It's called _______, it's in Clear Lake.
Me: Yea I know where that is, but that's kind of a long drive...
Rusty: Where are you coming from, midtown?
Me: About 5 minutes from there
Rusty: That's only like 30 minutes
Me: True, but still a long drive
Rusty: But it'll be worth it
Me: Well, if you really wanna see me, you're just gonna have to call me one of these days ;)
Rusty: I will too

And that was that. I haven't heard from him since. I haven't heard from The Psycho either. Which is not only surprising, but a relief!

Oh! The Model is in town. And I'm doing a really good job of not thinking about him! In fact, I almost forgot to write about him! I saw him and Mitchell last Friday at my bar, of course. I gave them a round of shots and served their drinks. But they didn't even say goodbye to me, and I haven't seen or heard from them since then. And I'm very proud to say I'm not hurt, or upset, or really anything! Maybe I'm finally getting over The Model. I mean, I can't hope for too much, but that sure would be nice.

My Mom went to her doctor's appointment last week, and they found out that the lump in her breast is not a cyst. Cysts are often mistaken as cancer, so that would be the most obvious thing it could be. But since it's not that, it's either a fibroid, or cancer. And usually only old people get fibroids. ((sigh)) She has a mammogram next week, and possibly a biopsy. So I'm praying for her, and trying as hard as I can to be nice and supportive and all that. It's just that the relationship between my mother and I is complicated. I mean we get along for the most part, and of course I love my mom, but I can only stand her in small doses! It's like she is the only person who has the power to get under my skin in 5 minutes flat. And she thinks I've been stressed out lately, but really, I only get that way around her! We got into a fight last week about my dog. Obviously, she doesn't want me to get one. But I don't think I can stand the silence of this apartment for very much longer. And lucky me, because Oliver will be here next week!! NEXT WEEK!!! (Don't worry, I'll post lots of pix!)
Anyways, it's like Jenna said, parents always think they can tell you what to do, and that you have to listen, no matter how old you are. But I'm living alone now, and supporting myself, and I don't have to answer to anyone! What is so hard to understand about that?! This really is the last thing I should be thinking about right now. ((huff))
Moving on...
Alyssa and I sort of got into it the other day. On Monday, she came over to see my apartment, finally, and then I went with her to campus to take care of some school stuff. We hadn't hung out in a while, and I had talked to her about how I was feeling. And she agreed that she needed to be more present and make more of an effort in our friendship. Hence, hanging out on Monday. So anyways, we were having fun, talking and catching up, etc. Well, at some point, the conversation came to cheating boyfriends. And I was telling her about the different guys I've dated who have cheated on me. And of course, Daniel's name came up, in passing. Since, he did cheat on me! And Alyssa scoffs, "You and Daniel were only together for like a second! You weren't even like...boyfriend/girlfriend!"
"Yes we were!" I argued.
"Well, that's not what he said." She retorted.
I was about to say something back, but her phone rang, and she answered it. So instead, I was just sitting there thinking about how rude that was, and how pissed off I was.
I mean, who says that?! Even if it wasn't her brother we were talking about, you just don't say something like that to your friend! It's insensitive!
I decided to let it go, for the time being, but I found myself thinking about it again later, and I decided to text her.
"Do you really believe what Daniel said? I mean do you really believe we weren't together?"
She didn't respond, and I kind of forgot about it. That same night, I decided to drive to the North Side to stay with my Aunt and cousins for a couple days. I had 2 nights off, and I just wanted to get away. And I love hanging out with my cousins. They're so carefree and fun-loving. I went to work with my Aunt on Tuesday morning, and got a text back from Alyssa then.
"Peyton, don't be that girl."
"What girl? What are you talking about?"
"Don't sulk over Daniel. Don't be that girl who's all sad about it because it didn't work out." She said.
"I'm not sulking. Really. This isn't even about Daniel. I just feel like you're blowing the whole thing off like it's nothing. And it definitely was something. I mean I was with him 24/7, I practically lived at his apt! And he really, really hurt me. So it may seem like nothing to you, but it was definitely something to me."
"Well you just have to understand that I don't wanna hear about my brother and his relationships! I'm tired of the girls he dates affecting the relationship I have with him."
"I know that. And I don't think I've tried to talk to you about him. Not when we were dating, not when we broke up, or even now, really."
"Ok."
"It just kind of sucks that I feel like I can't say anything to you."
"Well, it's not just you Peyton. Or any of the more recent girls. This has been going on since he started dating! All his girlfriends feel the need to tell me about their problems! And I just don't want anything to do with it."
"Well I don't wanna talk to you, or anyone about Daniel. It's over. And I have nothing to say about it."
My Aunt noticed me texting, and told me to get to work, so before Alyssa could respond, I said, "I'm at work now. I can't text anymore."
She never wrote back.
I'm just really...hurt and kind of annoyed that she makes all of this stuff out to be about me and Daniel, when it's not! It's about me and her!
Alyssa and I haven't spoken since then. I mean, I stayed at my Aunt's for 2 days, and went straight to work when I came back. So I haven't had a lot of time to see or talk to anyone, but...this is not resolved, by any means. And I'm tired of having these disagreements with her. I just want it to be done with! I just want her to see things from my perspective, and know when she's hurting my feelings. There's no way she could comprehend the depth of hurt I was feeling when Daniel and I broke up. Because I didn't tell her. I didn't talk to her about it at all, because I knew she wouldn't want me to. and I do understand! He's her brother. She loves him. But that doesn't give her the right to assume that it meant nothing.
I wish she could just look at this from a nonbiased p.o.v. and realize that no matter who it is that breaks my heart, I just want my friends to be there to catch me when I fall. Not judge me. Not say "I told you so". Not belittle me, or make light of the situation. Just empathize.
Is that too much to ask?

I have a date on Monday with a guy (JD) I met on that dating website. We still haven't met in person, and it's been a month since I canceled my membership, but I've been so busy with moving and everything, that we're only just now getting to meet. He's tall, and really cute, and he has a motorcycle (hot!!), but again, not getting my hopes up. He friended me on myspace and the impression I got of him there, is that he's a really big flirt. And I'm not sure how well that's gonna go over. But who knows! At least he's actually taking me out on a real date! Maybe he'll be the man of my dreams and we'll fall madly in love while staring into each other's eyes over plates of pasta and glasses of wine and then we'll ride off into the sunset, on his motorcycle, and live happily ever after.
LMAO.