The Search is On

For a new roommate that is.
Joey is moving out. He's going back to the burbs, which is where he spends 90% of his time already. It just makes sense for him to move back. So Dane and I have begun the search for his replacement. On the one hand, I'm kind of excited. I mean, this is a potential opportunity for me to make a new friend, or friends! But on the other hand, I'm dreading it because what if this person turns out to really suck!? And I just really don't want a female roommate. I intentionally picked a place with 2 guys because I don't want to live with girls. Just...too much drama. I expressed this opinion to Dane, and he understands, but we are both going to have an equal say in the new roomie, so hopefully it won't be someone I hate.

I'm leaving for New Orleans in 4 days! I can't wait. I'm really excited to see my family, and maybe Todd too. I still haven't told him I'm coming, and I'm not even sure if he'll be back in NOLA yet, but I'm gonna text him when I get there.

And when I get back from NOLA, I think I'm gonna have to start looking for a new job. I'm not really making any money where I'm at now, they're not giving me enough shifts, and there's just so much bullshit that comes with working at that place! They want us to advertise all their specials on our facebook pages, check in every time we get to work, get 10 emails per shift so they can spam their customers... And if we don't get emails, we get our shifts taken away! WTF?!
Hire a fucking marketing person for that shit. That's soooo fucking annoying to me. What if I decide to apply for a professional job in the near future and they find me on facebook and see all this crap about some bar littering my profile! How is that going to make me look??? Not to mention, I only have like two friends in Chicago right now, so my "advertising" isn't even doing them any good! It's just pointless!
And they expect us to just drop everything to help them decorate, and go to trash pickups, when they don't pay us. They say it's voluntary, but when we don't show up, we get bitched at. It's fucking bullshit dude. I'm so sick of working there. I really like my coworkers, but it's just not worth it to me anymore. Ugh. I'm so sick of bartending. I can't wait till I'm done with school and I can get a real job and not have to worry about this shit anymore. UUUUGGHHHH!!!

Ok sorry, that was my rant for the day.

I'm just so relieved that summer has officially started, and I'm about to take a much needed vacation!
Ahhhhh....

Hope

So Friday was lots of fun! I went out to eat with Ben, Summer, Bethany and Tug before they went to work. Then I headed over to my old bar to meet up with Todd. When he arrived, he had his girlfriend, Laura, and 2 of her girlfriends with him: Kristin and Brittany. Kristin didn't do much talking, but Brittany was pretty cool. Brandon was working, so I made sure to say hello. We pretty much hit all the hot spots around Houston, including my current place of employment, and my old favorite spots. Todd said he's really looking forward to me and the girls coming to his game next month! He told me to bring my camera, cuz he's getting us sideline passes, and I can get a lot of good shots of him! Which would be awesome!! I can't wait!

I ended up getting a little bit too tipsy that night, so Todd had to drive me home. Brandon texted me around 3:30am and mentioned that he was going out to eat with Mark. So I told him to get me some pancakes. And he did! Lol, but I had already passed out, and didn't even hear my phone when he called. Oh well, he said he saved the pancakes for me.

Last night was Summer and Brandon's Dad's wedding. I was at work, of course, but Summer and Ben stopped in the say hello after the reception. I didn't see Brandon though. Although, Alyssa called me around 2:30 to tell me that he'd been up at the bar, hammered, with his roommate who I hate. And apparently, his roommate was talking mad shit about me! Just great...

I guess Greg mentioned something about Brandon and I hanging out, and Brandon's roommate said I was "delusional" and that there's no way we'd be getting back together. WTF does he know!? He's such an asshole, I can't stand that guy! I asked Greg what Brandon said, but Greg told me that Brandon wasn't even there when his roommate said that stuff, and even if he had been, he was pretty intoxicated. It's not like it was my idea for us to get back together! Whatever, I'm not worry about it. Brandon can hardly stand his roommate. He's always telling me what a lazy, good for nothing piece of crap he is, and how he's wrecked his car 4 times in the past month. It's ridiculous.

So this morning, er, this afternoon, when I woke up, I called Brandon. I didn't mention to him that I'd heard about last night. I just asked him how the wedding was, and how things went with his Dad. He said the wedding was great, and his Dad and him talked, and they agreed to try and communicate better in the future. So that's really great, I'm happy they're getting somewhere. He mentioned to me that he went up to my old bar afterwards, and that he doesn't remember most of it. I thought about asking him about his roommate, but I decided against it. I figured I'd just talk to him later, if at all, when he comes over for dinner. Speaking of which, neither one of us mentioned it on the phone. I mean, I didn't wanna say anything about it, and he seemed a little distracted at the time. He ended up having to get off the phone, because he said he needed to hurry up and return his tux before he got charged extra for it. So he said he'd call me back later.

He wouldn't stand me up for our date. It was his idea! And he knows this is sort of just a trial period for us. ((Sigh)) I guess I'm just feeling a little uneasy because of what his roommate said about me. Even though I shouldn't care, and Brandon supposedly can't remember anything, I just... I dunno. I hope I hear from him soon!

Waiting It Out

Brandon and I hung out Wednesday and Thursday night. Thursday, after we went out, we went to IHOP with Bethany and Brandon's roommate, because they had ridden together. Afterwards, he told his roommate to wait while he walked me to my car. I was so sure he was going to kiss me, but it was like he wouldn't come closer to me than 3 feet! And then his stupid roommate pulled around the corner and started honking his horn. ((sigh)) So no kiss. But he did call me when he got home, and we ended up talking on the phone till almost 7am Friday morning!
So Friday night, I had to work, obviously, and Brandon went out with his sister. After work, a couple people were hangin' out, drinking beer, and Brandon calls me. He's at his sister's apartment with Jayme and his roommate and he wants me to come over.
Well, I was sitting at a table outside with John, Mark and Blinn, and they were all talking about going over to Blinn's for drinks and poker. So I was really torn. Brandon? Or John?
AH!
So I told Brandon I was gonna chill for a minute, and finish my beer, and then give him a call in a little bit. So we all walked out to the parking lot after a while, and John asks me if I'm ready for that motorcycle ride.
"Well that depends," I said, "Is is a one way ticket? Are you gonna drive me back here to my car?"
"I can." He said, "Or we can just take a ride around the block and then I can bring you back over here if you want."
"Well if you just wanna get this over with, then sure!" I said teasingly.
"Ok, some other time then." He grinned.
So I walked to my car, and he got on his bike, and we all headed over to Blinn's.
We hung out and drank, smoked a little...the usual. But I couldn't stop thinking about Brandon. ((Sigh)) AND John. John was acting very....elusive. Confusing. He's just so hard to read. And it drives me crazy! I mean, I don't wanna wait around for some guy who's possibly not sure how he feels about me! And even if he is sure of his feelings for me, the least he could do is act on them in some way, shape or form! And not just when he's drunk.
So I decided to duck out early. I called Brandon and asked him if he still wanted to hang out. But he said that everyone had already left, and he was just gonna crash on his sister's couch. So I figured, what the hell! And I invited him over.
When we got to my apartment, he immediately started playing with Oliver. And Oliver loves him! It's so cute how Brandon talks to him. Lol. I swear, it was like I was competing for his attention. Haha. By the time we went to bed, the sun was up, and still no kiss. Not even a suggestive touch! ((huff!)) I was starting to second guess myself!
We laid there and talked for a while, and I was teasing him about being stand-offish. And he said something along the lines of, "I just don't want you to get the wrong impression of me. I like to take my time with people. Not just get in, bang bang! get out. I mean I used to do that, but I'm not like that anymore and I just....don't want you to see me that way. I dunno...I guess I'm just rambling."
We passed out soon afterwards and I woke up this morning not even remembering having made the decision to go to sleep. In fact, the whole time we were talking, all I kept thinking about was how I was just gonna kiss him and get it over with! Break the ice! Ya know? Because I really wanted to! But I never plucked up the courage. Oh well...
So we got up around 2pm, lol, and I made corndogs and we watched Seinfeld. Then I walked him out to his car, because my mom was on her way over. STILL no kiss.

Well my mom and I had plans to go to this wig shop by my house. We got there about 30 minutes before they closed, and she tried on several different wigs. It was really interesting to see her with all these hip hairstyles! Lol, it almost made me wanna try one on!
So I spent the afternoon with my mom; we went the bookstore, and out to dinner after the wig shopping. And almost the entire time, Brandon was texting me.
First I asked him what he wanted me to think of him. You know since he doesn't want me to think he's a manwhore, or a player, but he won't kiss me either! It's like he thinks I'm the plague! Lol.
His response?
"I don't know, but I like to take my time with people. But for your information, I like you and want to see you again."
Me: That's cool, I like to take my time too. Well, I try, but I'm just kind of impatient by nature."
B: Well, you don't always have to be the one that makes all the moves you know. But I'm not going to keep doing this if that is what you think.
Me: Oh really?? Well then what ARE you going to do?
B: I don't know, but I want to see you again. And I left my watch over there, so I guess that means I HAVE to see you again!
B: Maybe I can stay with you tonight??
Me: Sure

That's pretty much the gyst of it. He didn't end up staying tonight though, obviously. I mean it's Saturday and we do inventory and we didn't get out of there till late. I talked to him around 3:30am and he was already in bed. Apparently he has to take some clients out golfing at 9am. Lol. But he told me he's gonna call me when he's done and then we're gonna hang out.
Sunday's are my friend days though. So he's just gonna have to put up with me AND Bethany, cuz we always do Sunday Fundays together.
But we'll just have to wait and see how tomorrow pans out. Maybe one of these days I'll get a kiss.
Before I move on to the next part of this post, let me just describe Brandon to you. He's not as tall as I would like, but he has the most beautiful smile! Big, beautiful, perfectly straight white teeth. ((sigh)) And his hair is kinda long, shaggy and glossy dark brown, almost black. He looks really Native American. He says he's Cherokee. He has the nice olive skin, and high cheekbones too. But he has a very boyish look about him that I like. Anyways, that's pretty much it I suppose. So, moving on!

Melissa and I are taking a road trip to Dallas to go see Todd's football game next weekend! I'm so excited! We haven't really gotten to hang out in a while, plus it's been forever since I've driven anywhere besides Austin. And I've yet to see one of Todd's games!
Oh, and guess what else? Todd and his girlfriend broke up!!!!!!

Joy Ride

Yesterday was very exhausting, but totally worth it! I went with Mark to his parent's ranch in Katy and rode horses all day! It was so nice to be back in the saddle, although my ass is paying for it now... Lol. But it was fun, and relaxing, and the weather was perfect! When I got home, I was tired, so I laid around for a while and watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Then Brandon called.
We ended up hanging out last night, and it was fun. But his height really bothers me! He's so hot, I wish he were taller. Oh well. So we smoked a little, and I was super high, but we had a really good time. We stopped into my bar to say hi to Bethany. On our way out I noticed a bike sitting out front that looked a lot like John's. I asked Gavin if he knew whose bike it was, but he said it was just some guy's. Hmm. Still haven't seen or heard from John since...well since last Friday! Anyways, at the end of the night Brandon walked me to my car and we stood there, kind of awkwardly. We were parked right next to each other, but I was facing forwards, and he was facing backwards, so our doors were against each other. So anyways, I'm standing there with my door open, and he's standing there with his door open... It was awkward. I mean, I couldn't tell if he was interested or not! And I mean, I wanted him to kiss me, sort of, or at least give me a hug goodbye, but he was being so stand-offish. So finally, I broke the silence.
"Well, I'll be out tomorrow so..."
"Yea, I'll be at the shot bar with my roommate." He said.
"Ok. Well...call me then."
"Ok." He said.
Then I got in my car and shut the door.
As I was driving home I wrote him a text, "Well what was that?"
B: I don't know!!! What did u want me to do?
Me: Lmao. I don't know, SOMETHING!!
B: Well I'm sorry I guess I didn't know if u wanted me to do something
Me: Well what were you leaning towards?
B: I wanted to kiss u but didn't want to get dissed!!
Me: Lol well you never know till you take a chance, right?
B: Yeah u are so right
Me: Well then why didn't you?
B: I don't know! I guess I didn't get that same vibe from u. I thought I was making an ass of myself.
Me: Lol well the vibe you were probably getting was HIGHHHH! you weren't making an ass of yourself.
B: That's cool. Didn't know if I was or not. But I was just trying to see u smile and laugh... :) :)

So that was that. He texted me this morning with, "Hey good morning. I woke up late, wanted to sleep in a bit. Had fun last night."

THEN he texted me again just a little while ago telling me he got a job at my bar as a door guy!!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! That means he and John are gonna be working together!!!!
COULD THIS BE ANY WORSE FOR ME?!?!?! I mean, I knew he had applied there, but he just wants to get his foot in the door cuz he's in bartending school right now. Ughhh...this sucks. I mean, why does he wanna bartend anyway?? He has a day job at an engineering firm!
((Sigh))
I'm gonna see him again tonight, you know for our original plans.
I wonder if John will be at work today...