What Else Can I DO???

Taryn is pregnant. With her horrible ex's baby. He dumped her like a year ago, and all this time they've been on-again, off-again, her hoping he would take her back for real this time. So many times he came crawling back to her with promises of going to therapy, and promises of change, but he just keeps screwing her over, and she just keeps taking him back! It's sooooo frustrating. He's turned her into one of those desperate, pathetic girls who goes through his phone constantly, and contacts all the girls he dates on facebook, telling them to stay away. She is THAT GIRL. And now she's pregnant, and part of me can't help but wonder, "Did she do this on purpose?" Because when it comes to him, I'm just not sure what she's capable of anymore! She's only 6 weeks, but I think she thinks she's going to get her happy ending with him and this baby. She says that he's "on board with it" and he even went to the doctor with her. Well that's what a supportive father-to-be is supposed to do!! He doesn't deserve a medal for that, I mean COME ON!!! And he's still talking to other girls, and she knows it. She just chooses to turn a blind eye! It's only a matter of time now before she catches him in a lie, or catches him talking to some other girl, or goes through his phone and finds something she's not gonna like.
Why do some girls do this to themselves?? I really don't understand!
Let me just paint you a picture of Taryn, ok? She has the perfect body. She works out constantly. She's about 5'6", looooooong beautiful, thick brown hair, one of those really dazzling smiles. She's one of those girls that really is actually sweet. She's compassionate, and considerate and kind. She's fun, and outgoing, but never overbearing. She does love kids, I'll give her that. She has 3 nieces that she just adores. I'd like to say that she's smart, but I'm not so sure... For one thing, she never finished college. That is the one good thing I can say about Dahmer (her ex): that he encouraged her to go back to school. Although, encouraged isn't exactly the right word. More like shamed her into it by making her think she wasn't good enough for him. Ugh. But not finishing school isn't really the issue. It's that she doesn't have any real marketable skills. All she's done her entire adult life is bartend. And there's nothing wrong with that either, hell, I've done it too! The problem is that she doesn't seem to have any goals or aspirations, other than to get married! It's pretty plain to see that she's just been waiting for some guy to come along and sweep her off her feet and take care of her. And now that she's pregnant, she can't exactly continue bartending at 7-8 months, so I'm assuming she expects him to take care of her. And that really worries me, because he's proven time and time again that he's unreliable, untrustworthy, selfish and immature. She does have a lot of family in Houston with her, so at least if he bails she won't be totally on her own, but still... Why can't she see how bad he is for her?? How her life completely revolves around him and all her common sense goes right out the window!
From my own selfish standpoint, this isn't good because I've have outwardly hated on Dahmer since they broke up, including throwing a beer in his face. All because of Taryn!! She told me bad things about him, told me she was done with him for good, that she hated him! And I hated him right along with her. Stupid me. I should have known better. Now if they do end up together, I can never show my face around the 2 of them. ((Sigh))
Well, it's still early. Even though she's talking about keeping the baby and living happily ever after as if that's actually an achievable goal, anything could happen. I just want Taryn to have a great guy, who loves her unconditionally and and appreciates her and makes her happy. Not a selfish asshole who runs around on her and makes her crazy! And now I worry that she'll never get those things. Not as long as Dahmer is in the picture. I've told her this, believe me. And I told her I'd support her whatever she decides to do. Because what else can I do?? I mean seriously, tell me! What else can I do??

Dear John

I don't really have much to write, but I thought I should stop in for an update. I finally let John have it. Sort of. I mean, I'm just so tired of him jerking me around all the time, and him being completely oblivious to how much he fucks with my head! So I told him. He texted me last Friday night, and after some pointless small talk, I finally said...

Me: You know what's weird? Despite the fact that we are often in the same place at the same time, I sometimes wonder if I will actually ever see you again.
John: Valid point. I swing in different circles now so it's getting harder. Truth is, when I'm in Houston I spend a lot of time with my brother.
Me: Well it's a shame we're not going to Belize... I guess you'll never see my boobs in person ;)
John: I really wanted to go, but I haven't been as productive with work as I could've been. Procrastination is inevitable.
John: And damn. That does bring a tear to my eyes.
Me: aren't you on vacation?? I don't think procrastination is your problem.
John: That's the thing. I am on vacation whilst trying to accomplish a few tasts for work. I had to take time off in order to actually get stuff done.
Me: You're a workaholic. Among other things.
John: Haha, true, and it's not quite the balance I would like. They're two extremes. Nothing is close to middle.
John: Peyton
John: Peyton
John: It kinda hurts having the idea in my head that it could be possible that I might not see you.
John: I don't want that to happen.
Me: Well then stop being so flaky and quit jerking me around all the time. Your fickleness is giving me whiplash. I don't like it. It's frustrating.
Me: To be honest.

He didn't respond, just as I expected he wouldn't. And for like a whole day I worried that I'd been too hard on him. So the next night, I sent him another text.

"Sorry if I came off bitchy last night, but I don't think you realize how exasperating you can be. Our relationship obviously crosses over the line of friendship, and sort of has for years now, so it's hard not to attach some sort of expectations to that. And I don't think me wanting to actually see you once in a while is expecting much, but what do I know? I guess what I'm saying is, you drive me crazy sometimes with your unwitting indifference, and....sorrynotsorry."

So that's that. Still no response from him and it's been a week. So that's it. I'm not going to respond to him if he texts me again. I'm just tired of playing games and making excuses for him in my mind. No matter how weird, or different he is, I'm not gonna waste my time anymore.

All Souls Trilogy Fan Casting

Ok, I'm currently on Book 3 of the All Souls Trilogy. Has anyone read them? They're sooooooo good! It's like fantasy/romance/historical fiction/action/thriller/mystery all rolled into one! I love it! Anyway, so I've been fancasting the books in my head the last couple days, and I just have to post it somewhere! I know this is totally random, but I just have to. I did this before, with the Mortal Instruments series as well. If any of you guys have read the books, let me know what you think!

Rachel McAdams as Diana Bishop. She can pull off the strawberry blonde curls, and the bright straight blonde look as well! And she's an amazing actress. I would be delighted if she were to tackle this role.

David Gandy as Matthew de Clermont. He has the PERFECT eyes, dark hair, and he's tall and oooooh so sexy! I bet he looks great with a beard too.

Gemma Arterton as Miriam Shepherd. She's got the look and the attitude, plus she's British! Just like Miriam.

Garrett Hedlund as Marcus Whitmore. He's hot, and has the blonde haired blue eyed surfer look going on.

Diane Kruger as Ysabeau de Clermont. This is who I've been picturing in my head as Ysabeau since the first book. The silky honey colored hair, the cold beauty... Diane is perfect!

Chris Hemsworth as Gallowglass. He's got the accent, the brawn, the shaggy blond hair, and of course, what's not to love? He just has one of those faces!

Eduardo Berastegui as Baldwin. He's hot, but kind of scary looking.

Eva Green as Louisa. This is seriously THE MOST PERFECT casting for Louisa. Stunning, yet terrifying, and just as described.

I had a little trouble with Phillipe de Clermont because he's sometimes described as looking like a kingly angel, but then he's also described as being like a lion: powerful and terrifying. Initially, I went with Charlie Hunnam, just for his looks, but then I settled on Michael Fassbender. He exudes that power Phillipe has, and he's handsome.

Jessica Chastain as Rebecca Bishop. I've noticed in some other fancasts, that people chose her for Diana, but I think she would make a great maternal figure. She's beautiful, yet also sort of wise looking and tender. So I cast as her as Diana's mom.

Simon Baker as Stephen Proctor. Diana's dad had to have that handsome, disarming, scholarly look about it. And I couldn't think of anyone better than this guy.

Susan Sarandon as Sarah. She has to have red hair of course! And Sarandon is great at playing multifaceted characters. Sarah is maternal, yet also somewhat curt and abrasive, and Susan Sarandon could totally pull that off.

Patricia Clarkson as Em. She's the old soul in the family. Kind of quiet, and very empathetic. Clarkson embodies these qualities, although her hair would have to be white for the role. Bonus! She and Susan Sarandon would make a great onscreen couple!

Gabriel Byrne as Peter Knox. This guy has been in a lot of stuff, and he has that sort of unsavory look to him that would be perfect for Peter.

Mads Mikkelson as Father Hubbard. CREEPY MCCREEPERTON RIGHT HERE! Perfect for the vampire priest.

Emma Watson as Phoebe Taylor. Although she doesn't look the way Phoebe is described physically, she has everything else: intelligence, wit, and British propriety. And she and Garrett Hedlund just make a dashing couple, don't you think??

Alex Gonzalez as Fernando Goncalves. He's Spanish, and he's handsome. :)

Daniel Samonas as 20 year old Jack. He has that innocent, yet roguish look about him. And the hazel eyes!

Elijah Wood as Christpher, Kit, Marlowe. He's perfect for a daemon. And Elijah is such an amazing actor, I'm sure he could pull of the petulance of Kit.

Evan Rachel Wood as Mary Sidney, Duchess of Pembroke. She has the look I think. And I feel like she and Rachel McAdams would have good onscreen chemistry as lab partners.

Finally, Benjamin. He was a hard one to cast, because obviously he has to be good looking, but also seriously creepy. Like serial killer creepy. So it's a tie between Cillian Murphy, the typecast creeper (top), and Francois Arnaud (bottom). I think the latter might have the advantage just because he's French though.

Well, that's it! All the major characters at least. What do you think?

In Case You Were Wondering...

Well...I don't think I'm going to Belize. Nothing happened with Dustin while I was in Houston, and Kyle was here last weekend, and he basically blew me off.
So I guess things are back to normal in my life. ((sigh))