No Place To Sleep

**WARNING** This post contains many capital letters and expletives. 

So after much deliberation, you have all convinced me not to reach out to Melissa. And I agree, it's best to just leave it alone. It's not like I want to rekindle our friendship or anything, and she was a shitty friend. So I'm not going to contact her.
In other news, I had a couple of house guests since Wednesday night. One of my oldest (literally the friend I've known longer than all my other friends!) friends and her boyfriend came to stay. Margaret and Joseph. They are both in their last semester of medical school and were in town for residency interviews. I had only met Joseph once before, but he's a lot of fun, and I really like him. When I was in Houston over Christmas, I saw Margaret at church and she mentioned that she would be in Chicago in January and I told her she could stay with me. But I didn't find out till the day before they got here that they were coming. So anyway, I met them at the airport Wednesday afternoon, and then we went out to dinner, and I took them to the improv theater for a show. It was a lot of fun! I took the couch upstairs, and gave them my room for the weekend. Luckily I had just cleaned my room and changed my sheets, so it was a pretty no-stress situation. Until last night that is...
I informed both of my roommates, that I had company staying till Saturday morning, and that until then, I would be sleeping on the couch in the TV room. I had a bed made up in there, and my pillow and everything. Well then Dane told me in an email that he was having a bunch of people over Friday night. So I wrote back that that was cool, but that I would still be sleeping in the room upstairs, but that I was working Friday night so it probably wouldn't be a big deal. But then I got home last night and there was someone sleeping on the fucking couch!! I was so mad I wanted to scream!! There I was with my pajamas and all my stuff from work and I literally had no place to go! Not to mention the place was a total disaster, complete with food and booze left out, and the furniture dragged every which way apparently to accommodate Dane's large party. So I texted Sophie to see if I could crash with her. No answer. So I texted Abbie. No answer. I was seriously so fucking pissed. Even if I decided to lay down on the fucking table and go to sleep, I had no pillow and no blankets, because Dane had apparently taken my pillow out of the upstairs room, and thrown it back on my bed, and the blankets were being used by the passed out drunk guy. UGHHHH!! It makes me mad all over again thinking about it!
I mean seriously?! I know he owns the condo and all, but I told him I was going to be sleeping in there! That's why I left my pillow! He could have at least texted me that someone was gonna be there so I didn't walk in like, "WTF?" when I got home!
So I went downstairs and grabbed this dirty, stinky old white blanket that Jasper sleeps on when it gets cold, because it was the only thing I could find, and went to sleep on the chair. The non-reclining, really small chair. Luckily I had my sleeping mask in my purse. So I attempted to go to sleep, until about 5am when Dane got up to go to work and set of the FUCKING FIRE ALARM!!!! He's a fucking fire fighter for god's sake, and he keeps the fire alarm sitting on top of the kitchen cabinets NEXT TO THE STOVE!! It says right on the back of the alarm that you're not supposed to keep it in the kitchen, or next to any open flames!! How does he not get this?!?!!
Now I'm really fuckin' pissed. Then at about 7, Dane's stupid, annoying, loud ass fucking girlfriend comes up the stairs and starts having a conversation (i.e. shouting match) with Passed Out Guy literally right behind me. Umm...hELLO?!! Do you not see me here trying to fucking sleep!?!
GOOOOOOOD...


I HATE THEM!!

I FUCKING HATE DANE'S GIRLFRIEND. She has apparently never heard of an "inside voice" because she wakes me up literally every time she sleeps over. And wtf, I'm back in my bed now, because Margaret and Joseph just left, and Dane also threw all the old couch throw pillows on my floor! WHY would he do that?! He couldn't just throw them on the new couch (you know, the one I was supposed to sleep on!?) in the other room??
I'm disgusted. And very disappointed in humanity. And currently accepting new ideas for revenge. Anybody got any ideas??